Ranting

My three month stint
As a self exiled street
Urchin wandering the
Streets begging the gods
For better muses was
Not so fruitful as I had
Hoped...
But, when you start
With nothing and end
The same what do you
Have to lose?...
But a bit more of the
Mind you try your damdest
To drink away because
The romanticized illusions
You prefer no longer exist
Outside of the countless
Books you read growing up
On nevermore farm ...
Where hugs for breakfast
And fists for desert created
This...very odd little twerp
Of a thing fascinated with
Characters...

I wish I could be everyone
Sometimes..
Every good, bad, pretty, ugly,
Normal, fucked up bastard
of a wellbred person,
But I can't even be myselves
Haha-!

If my life were a novel
It would end in a Steinbeck
Cliffhanger with me crashing
Madly in the waves looking
For my poor lost heirloom
I should've passed on..
But my stormy heart  knows
Only the winter of discontent
To the exclusion of any of
Season...
And..is there a reason?
Cause and effect explain
How's but the why that
Eludes me keeps me here..
Searching..
Modifying my
...character.

(Since I fear to
Be the author of
My ending.)

The Great Necessity of beasts

Your face is
The kind that
Eats the heart
In dreams,
Yet..you know
Little of duality..or
The Great Necessity
Of beasts ..(and
How they feed
An Angels pious
Tendencies.)

There are no
Sides..there never
Were..

Love, and hate,
Life and death,
Good and evil..
all are timeeless
Archetypes revolving
Around an infinite
Center.

(And you will
Always be the
blind Maelstrom
eating
My heart in
Dreams.)

A house of MiRRorS Without doors

I've been here
Before,
Caught in a
Loop,
In This house of
MiRRorS Without
Doors,
where everyone
Stoops because
they cannot Stand
For Their Own
Truth,
Or justify what
Life is for.

Running from love
Since none of
My identities are
Worthy,
And...
There's never
Been a genuine
Me.

You see..
I Am the MiRRorS
My sweet...
Reflecting nothing..
(And the voices
Ask me why I drink!)
Hating..
Because pain is
The price we
Pay for loving.
And ..
I've always been
Broken.

Fuck it
Never mind....

Thanatopian

Lo, I've never known
A moment's peace,
Or noticed beauty
In a rose,

For life's cruel
Garden grows
Disease.

(And flowers
Grown by
Thanatos.)

Yet other mortals
(Here on earth)
seem to shout out
Thanks and praise,
For ever hour since
Their Birth.

(Which I've lamented
All my days.)

The man in the mirror

The man in the mirror.
+++++++13+++++++

The man in the
Mirror grows restless,..
(Hollow eyes seeking
Something to Consume.)
and to himself
Confesses, that he
Craves this State of
Gloom.

"But may the darkness
Of My Soul create
A Light.."
(He whispers.)
"and get me through
another night,
in the Presence of
These Shadow
Listeners!"
(who feast upon
Grim Thoughts
Like Parasites.)


There is Something
In Him Truly Broken.
Not his Heart,
But something worse.
Something Vast, and
Left Unspoken!
(Something Wicked
Like A Curse.)

Morning is here, yet
He Does Not Tire.
Watching the weeping
Man In The Mirror,
and the fiery tears
His eyes perspire.
(To the point cold
Cheeks Grow Blisters.)

"Oh!..
(He screams)
May loves voice
Defeat the whispers
Of these wretched,
Midnight Shadow
Listeners!!!!!!!!!!

(Before they eat my
Dreams.)

J.Stephen.H.

till the tyrants live no more.

Till The Tyrants live
no more.
++++++13+++++++

When I sought to
Know the way of
Kings ,

My Heart was filled
with Peasantry,
until I drank from the
Cup of God's!

(And became A
Human Being.)

+++

So Unhappy are the
Heirophants, who's
Fraud I have exposed.

Like Puppets now
I watch them dance!!

(To music only
Only Madness
Knows.)

+++

I sought to know
The path of peace,
But my heart is
Filled with war..

Thus I shall
Crush with vengeance
This Disease!

(Till the tyrants
Live no more .)

J.Stephen.H.

a kingdom for all restless hearts

A Kingdom for
All Restless Hearts.
++++++13+++++++

I walked
down
The stairs ..

(in my Head)

and choked
on
Smoke.

(Unaware
Our
Prophecy
came
With Dread)

Thoughts
Wishing
Tomorrow
Had hope!!!

(Yet Knowing
That My Heart
is Dead.)

+++

oh.

I'm sorry
The sunshine
Of Black Tears
so frowns
Me that...

I fall this
goddamn far
 from you.

Sorry that
Our
World is
Black!!

(Sorry Night
Stains Those Eyes
Of Blue.)

+++

I sometimes
Bring myself
To Wonder ..

Is it
All a Lunatics

dream?

Sometimes
pull
Myself asunder !!!

(Always
drown
In Endless
Screams.)

++

so

tell me
dear,

do you still
Listen?

and


 Help Me
Heart if
Love is Gone!

I've
felt you
Near me
in
This
Prison!!

(and with 

you
Raged against
The Dawn.)

+++

It seems
I
(alone)
Discern
A
Self.

And
My
(own)
Grim
Chaos
Breeds
True
Art!!

As this
Throne
Some
Mortal
Seat
Becomes!!

(A
Kingdom
for All
Restless
Hearts.)

+++

Now
Hold Me
Love!!

(Since life is
Fleeting)

And do not
Turn your hand
Astray!

For 

I assure
You there

are
Angel's
Greeting!

Every soul
Who Finds 

it's
Way...

Back to The
World our
Minds Were
Dreaming!!

(Before 

Trapped

In

The
Nightmare
Of Life's
Grave.)

J.Stephen.H.