all youths heroes now are dead

youths heroes
now are dead.
+++++++++++++

as a kid
i
used to hide
for

hours in the
closet of my
room;

wondering what
heroes did.

(to defeat Youths
Inner
Gloom.)

+

those heavy
footsteps...

were they
real?....

I hold my
whispering
breath!

but only
Death
seems real.

(so perhaps
its better not
to feel.)

+

twas often
also
moonlight screamed,

into
the darkness of
lost
memory;

till
Life Became
a
Thing I'd
Dreamed!

(with true
self The Nightmare
Enemy.)

+

Those
Angels...

were they
ever
there?

The Inner
Good
Within Me
Strangles!!

(and I breath the
evil air.)

+

as a man
i
choose to
hide,

in the
closet of
my
Head,

with
none in
whom

i can confide.

(youths
heroes now
are dead.)

j.s.h.

the son of endless night

the son of endless night.
++++++++++++++

Her Kisses made
the
world go blurry;

and
filled the skies
with
Half-Dead Light.

then I felt
an
inner
sense of hurry!

(to
outrun the
endless
night.)

+

i laughed
until
all tears
made
sense.

(then
wept with
jesters
sad, and
empty.)

The
Punchline?

Mortal
Innocence!!!

(consumed
by
external enemies.)

+

how
long before
i
die again?

(looking
into
You.)

trying to
be
a Hero of
Men!

(but
far too
fond
of Solitude.)

+

spare your
kisses
my old friend;

and
save those skies
of
half-dead light.

For Fate prefers
I
Do Not Mend!!

(I Am
The
Son Of
Endless
Night.)

J.Stephen.H.

all the difference

all the difference.
+++++++++++++

She asked him
why
life is Dark;

and
how many hard
hearts

would angels
break?

(if hard
angels didn't
have hearts.)

Do we all
play
Scripted Parts?!!

(or
choose to wear
Love's
Bulls-Eye Mark?)

+

He answered:
"how the fuck
should I know?"

(I've never
payed
much attention.)

"I see Light
in
Those Eyes
of
Sorrow!"

"and
still feel
Love."

(you've
told me not
to
mention.)

+

She tells him:

"Dear
Flame,

I Love You
Still."

"I always
have,
and always
will."

"but we're
The Same,

and
That Makes
All
The Difference!!!"

"Between
Love Which Stays."

(and Love that
Kills.)

j.stephen.h.

a quiet rebellion against the frowns

a quiet rebellion
against the frowns.
++++++++++++++

i love you
because
you "know"

behind
most smiles
are
frowns;

yet you
 smile
for
me anyway.

fake it so well
it
makes me smile...

and then we
fake
it
together with
hope in our heart

that
eventually things
might
feel like they used to..

back before the world
became
an existential cluster-fuck
of
vast proportions.

(or
place where few
loves
last longer than
a
"crap of the
month"
song that becomes
old
in it's infancy and passed
on
for Newer Things.)

+

I love you because
even in my grief
i
can't stop laughing!

and you never call
me crazy

because we're in it
together;

two crazy fucks
against
a depressingly
crazier
system of frauds

who
place value in
statistical trends
which
unique souls could
never
be!

(i love you because
you've always been a
part of me.)

+

so love..

i'll just
sit here
behind the screen,
faking it till i make
it

because
thats what
MY Love
does..

while
hoping against
hope for
good
times to be renewed,

and Love
to
Become
a
"Thing" again!

(even if our
sad
smiles
remain a quiet
rebellion against
the
Frowns.)





j.s.h.

the pieces which truly mend us

the pieces which
truly mend us.
+++++++++++++

By all outward
appearance,
she
seems to suffer
from
an odd form of
kleptomania
which
involves the stealing
of
hearts that she then
returns
to the owner more
broken
than they were
before.

But damn!!
how I wish to
be
stolen...and
Broken!!!

(since it is the
pieces which truly
mend us.)

j.stephen.h.

how brittle be the clay

how brittle be
the clay.
+++++++++

I cannot be
All
Things to All
Men;

I am an
Anomaly ...

or freak occurrence
which
occurred nonetheless
to
spite the division of
it's
ever-spiteful-selves.

+

But how high
is
High Enough?

Ask Dear Icarus
how
quickly melts the
wax,

and
low becomes the
bar

once you've eaten
every
shooting star and
crave
for more!!!

(to remind you
who
you are.)

+

I can only
be
Me to all
"Me's";

while molding a
personal
destiny with two
broken
hands which "see"!!!

(how brittle be the
clay.)

j.stephen.h.

the architect of this place

the architect of this place.
+++++++++++++

i knew she
had lost
her grace...

from the moment
that she
washed those
angels
from her sad,
once smiling
face;

but never would i
judge.

(everyone's a
victim of this
place)

+

her story isn't
a
common story,

in
face it's quite
unique,

she made
a
Heaven
of
Purgatory!

(until She Lost
The
Will To Speak.)

+

we were together
for
a Time,

but that time
has
come and passed,

much like
most other
"Times
of Love".

(which never
seem
to Last.)

+

She knew
immediately
I
never had
grace..

the moment
that
her bright eyes
saw
The Shadows
In
My Face.

but...
never did she
judge!

(though i was
always the
architect of this
place.)

jsh

the sad clown

the sad clown.
+++++++++++

tonight the moon
is
a sad clown with
craters
on it's face

caused
by tears wept
after
coming
to  realize

the sun does not love
him
Anymore;

and
the stars mock the
clown
with their joyous
smiles
and shining eyes
that
seem to always look
onward
towards some far off
paradise
exclusive only to
them and others
of
their happy kind.

+

and i
wish that i could
save
the clown from the
burdens
of it's crater-heart,
but
it is impossible for
me
because we are the
same;

two sad clowns mocked
by
happy little stars who shall
never
truly KNOW!!!

(what
it
means to
be
unloved
by
The Sun.)

j.stephen.h.

the madness of ourselves

the madness of ourselves.
    +++++++++++++

we didn't drive one another
crazy...

we walked there
slowly,

taking in the shadow-sights,
and

wishing upon those weeping
stars

for something better than
the
madness of ourselves.

j.s.h.

A new set of lungs

a new set of lungs.
+++++++++++++

if the universe were
to give a determinist
who smokes a new
set of lungs,
they would (by
an unchangeable
nature) just smoke
them
all away again;

same
for pills and livers,

greasy
food and arteries,

and
countless other
mechanistic
atrocities.

so
i ask
humbly
dear
universe:

are you for
or
against us?

are we free
to choose,
or fucked by
fate?

and
do the gods
laugh at,
 mock,
or
weep for us?

me?...

ill never
quit smoking
or
questioning!!

(and that i think
is a
freedom in itself.)

j.s.h.

with a soul no hell could thus surpass

with a soul
no hell could
thus surpass.
++++++++

and...

the devil
lit my 13th
cigarette quite
merrily with
his little pinky,
trying to look into
the shadows of 

my haunted 
eyes without
much

victory.

you can't beat

me.


i hide behind these

Phantasmic 

Windows with their 

Oddly Tear-Stained 

Glass;

.

so be
Gone with 

you !

be gone

Thou
Devil-ass!

(and then
i lit the devils first
cigarette quite
 merrily with
a soul no hell
could thus surpass.)

jsh

What the molehill said to the mountain

what the molehill
said to the mountain.
++++++++++++++

without me?
thou art naught!

a
mustard seed
without
the
grains of
faith it
takes
to
grow a field
of
shit.

you were
built from me.

you ARE
me,

and WE
are
THEE.

(eternally
thus the Nothing.)

j.stephen.h.

the door to your hell

the door to your hell
+++++++++++++

if the key
to
my heart opens
the
door to your
hell
my dear,

what business
do either of us
have here?

keep that
starlight
in your eyes!

and I
(in fear)
shall
abandon
Love's
Paradise.

(which
was
likely always
the devils
cheer.)

j.s.h.

captain tinnitus and the not so sunny band

captain tinnitus
and the "not so sunny"
band.
+++++++++++++

the buzzing
in
my ears..

am
i
crazy?

or does
disharmony
rule
the spheres?

(my vision
is
growing
hazy.)

+

i
tossed
my
heart

into
the
microwave,

and
gave the
infinity

button a
press;

because
ill
forever

be
Hatreds Slave!

(without
love
in me to
confess.)

+

the ring
of
that ancient
bell,..

is
death speaking
to
me?

have
I
already
reached
hell?!!

(or awaiting
it's eternity?)

+

i
toss wishin-coins
into
The Angel Well;

and
pray for better
things.

but
darkness has
me

under it's
spell!!!

and
life remains....

(not worth
remembering.)

j.s.h.

Behind my smiling face

behind my smiling face.
+++++++++++++

their laughter was
nails
on my Grim Souls
chalkboard,

but
i stood there
feigning
Grace,

to mask the
stark discord.

(raging behind
my
Face.)

+

"who orders milk
in
Bars?!"

they ask.

"chase the irony
down
with scars!!!!"

(and eat the
Broken Glass.)

+

now i'm walkin
down
13th Street..

1,000 miles from
where
I'd like to be.

Hoping I may
someday meet,

My Love for
all
Eternity.

+

yet
perhaps
the
chalkboard
is
half-empty?

and
filled with
mostly
nonsense
Verse?

or
Perhaps I
am

The Enemy??!!!!!

(the Angels seem
to
Curse.)

+

the laughter....
its...

near-endless
now.

oceans of voices
from
invisible crowds;


how can they
be
so loud?!!!

(my heart becomes
a
Funeral Shroud.)

+

"who
orders
blood
in
a bar?"

they ask.

(their sneering
faces
ever-mocking.)

"spit out
the
shards of
broken
glass!!"

but your
heart?!!!

(it's
not worth
stopping.)

j.stephen.h.

a pit of nowhere

A PiT oF
nOwHeRe.
++++++++

Her eyes were
Tombstones with
AnGeLs
in Them.

Trying to
break through
the

WindoW of
HeR
pRiSoN sTaRe.

and
mine were
graveyards full
of
MeN!

(Who were
banished into
nOwHeRe.)

+

The Purgatory
where
we met,

was
full of stars
that
never shined.

A
Hell which
made

The ANgels
sweat!

(and drove
God out of
His Mind.)

+

We make
the
Most Imperfect
Pair,

(but it works
well
for us none-
the-less.)

with HeR
the goddess
of
Despair!!

(and I
The Devil
in
Distress.)

+

Her heart
is
a thanks
for
nothing
card

written
to
Me,

trying to
cause
a
stir or scare.

Mine?

a thing
to
thus discard!!

(to that
endless pit
of
Nowhere.)

j.stephen.h.

from my heads unending grave

from my heads
unending grave.
+++++++++++++


Her eyes were
tombstones
with angels in them,


breaking 

through
the
Window
of her
Prison Stare.

Mine?..

Dead Wardens
who
condemn!

(The Soul with
but
A Glare.)


+

She asked me
what
I Felt For Her,

with
wanting in her
Voice;

I replied:

"you are
the Universe!!"

(yet
Love was Not
Our
Choice.)

+

Her Angels
became
Mad Devils
then,

(who
made my
Heart
a Slave.)

and
I learned to
oddly

Cherish
them!!

(from
My Heads'
Un-ending
Grave.)

j.stephen.h.

• 
  

Where angel stones once proudly stood

Where angel stones
Once proudly stood.
+++++++++++++

Digging deeply
into
my self.

The shovel broke
after
Hitting My HearT.

Then melted due
to
inner Hells.

(from which
I
can't depart.)

+

Laughter
echoed
through inner
Gardens,

Where Angel
Stones
Once proudly
stood,..

till replaced
By
Fate which
never pardons!!

(My soul from
This Desolate Wood.)

+

Older now I
Dig
No more,

In Mental graves
so
Rift with Bones,

that I could fill
up
Countless Shores!

(and never stifle
Heavens Groans.)

remember me nots

remember me nots.
+++++++++++++

she threw down the
fresh
bouquet
of
"Remember-Me-Nots"
and
pranced away in rage,

muttering the usual
curses
she mutters whenever
i
piss her off more intensely
than
what is our usual.

"love you too dear."
i
say laughing.

crying and dying
inside
and terrified the
muses
might catch on and
somehow
ruin the love i've
battled
in my heart so long.

+

a
few hours later she
comes
storming into the kitchen,
walks
directly up to me, and
slaps
me hard in the face,

before
kissing me long and
hard
with a fervent passion
the
greatest of  actors
(god)
could never hope to fake.

+

shortly after,

we both stare into the
absence
of each others eyes for
several
eternal seconds till
our
reverie is broken by
her smile.

"how could i ever
forget
an asshole like you?"
she
asks laughing the biggest
tears
i've ever seen.

then she takes my hand,
and
leads me slowly to our
room.

(isn't "love" grand?)

j.s.h.

passion's lonely plea

She felt like
gravity in
Her Silence;

unmoved by
Passion's Lonely
Plea.

head
navigating
Seas
of
Violence!!!

( but she always
swims
back to me.)

The cutter second version

When I asked her
to
Teach me how to
feel,

She pulled out
a
Blade
And Cut Me;

In order
to best
illustrate
the

importance
of
Learning
The Hard Part
first..

with 
love comparable
to a lonely
desert,

where life
feeds you sand

to quench your
thirst!!

seeking an adjective

seeking an adjective.
+++++++++++++

i'm
sorry love...

but
there's no adjective
for
You.

they
all
stopped
dead in their
tracks,

or fled from the
slightest
echo of Your Beauty's
Endless Grace.

and I wouldn't
waste a moment
of

Our Love
seeking such
adjectives!

(With Our
Hearts
Content On
Verbs.)

j.s.h.

visions of the deep

visions of the deep.
+++++++++++++

Time doesn't
sleep..
why should i?

i have visions
of
the deep!

(gouge out
my
chemical eyes.)

+

love won't spare
my
Soul anymore;

and
what does hell
care??

it's another sea
upon
the self-same
shore!!

(joys mingled with
despair.)

+

throw down your
matted
locks for me,

bittersweet angel
of
The ToWeR;

salvation for eternity!

(is within your
realm of power.)

+

time never lets a
sigh,

so why should
I?

it's ALWAYS been
the
Restless Deep!

(that never learned
to
Fly.)

j.stephen.h

Forever without mending

Forever without
Mending.
++++++++++++

Youre much
Too pretty
for a face.

(Run Old
Flame.)

or fresh 

cut
smiles 

without
Grace.

(Yet
LoVe remains
OuR Shame.)

+


 I would
Kiss you if 

my
Head could
hold


EveRy BroKen 

ParT
Of YoU;

but those like us
are
meant to fold!

(( and becoMe 

tHe DaRk
OnE faLLs inTo.)

+

I smeLL your TeaRs
iN
PatchWork dreAmS.

(Perhaps 

some 

FooL
 will droWn
tHis tiMe?)

As
Nightmares 

burst
through

Memory's
Seams!!

(aNd muRder
AngeLs 

with oLdE
RhyMes.)

+

Oh,

You're much too
Fair
to fret and cry!

so
ForGet the paSt.

(and futuRes penDing.)

For
OuR loVe 

is 

meAnT
To 

LiVe aNd 

DiE!

((ForeVer 

wiThouT
MenDinG.)


J.Stephen.H

Infinite lips of constant frowns

From infinite
Lips. (Of constant
frowns. )

+++++++++

last time
I looked
Over tHe
edGe,

somethin
looked back.

( in fact it 
still
sTares.)

It warned
me:

"Keep Your
Pledge."

and
LauGheD!!!

(In The Face
Of
All My
NighTmareS.)

+

I'm ...

NoT a
gUy

like other
guys.

(Truthfully,
I
Seldom
SmiLe.)

NoThing
Registers
in
These Eyes!


(My Heart
Of
Gray Grew
ViLe.)

+

Last time
i
Looked up
At
The SkY,

somethin
Looked Down.

and
rewarded me
with
A Restless
Sigh,

from
Infinite
Lips!

(of constant
Frowns. )

J.stephen.h.

In the absence of true being

In the absence
of true being.
++++++++++

She
had
"Love Me"
Eyes Trying
Not to HaTe
Themselves.

(A Forced
Smile
Feigning Easy.)

Black Hearts
Painted Over
Angel Fingernails.

(and
Mocking
Stares
which oddly
pleased
Me.)

+

I fell so
Hard I haven't
Landed
YeT;

But (in
My Falling)
I've found
Meaning.

For
The Abyss
is
Not Mans
Greatest
ThreaT!

(such resides
Somewhere In
The Absence of
True Being.)

+

(to be continued.
perhaps.)

A lies disaster

What is this
Odd
Thing which
Stirs
Within Me?

(I rarely
Sleep.)

as
I burn
these
Day-Lit hours
Like


ETernaL
Midnight!

(and Love's
Smile
makes me
Weep.)

+

What comfort
can
There Be In
Laughter?

(When you
Know
It's Evil Source.)

Each
Truth is but
A

Lies'
Disaster!

(all things
Happy run their
Course.)

A beautiful backwards hell

A beautiful,
backwards hell.
+++++++++++

?? So
Shall we go

To a beautiful backward
Hell,

? where questions are answered
first

and

there are secrets left
!Unknown for tomorrow

(To quench udying
thirst )

++++

? How long have I been
Dead this Time

(Lost within gods'
dreaming HeaD)

!!! Frozen by Heaven's
Unseasonable Clime


(When i should've
Burned Instead. )

AbSenT oF yOuR aNgeL SoNg

AbSenT oF yOuR aNgeL
SoNg.
×××××××××××××

I hate the uncertainty
Love.

(Not knowing if you're
going to flee.)

We both have Lost
Enough!

(Or at least
Get Lost with
Me.)

×

That Lunatic Moone
Cannot
InfecT uS.

(NoR HoPe to knoW
The
Lives We LeAd.)

Therefore Its not
AS
dAngeRouS.

(as LonelinEsS
And NeeD.)

×

HoLd mE
LoVe.

FoR
WithouT YoU
i'M
NoT sTroNg.

aNd
mY eaRs haVe
bLeD eNougH!!!!

oH,..
tHe
SwoRd?

( beiNg
AbSenT oF
youR AnGeL
SoNg.)

j.s.h.

The city of secret ArT.

The city of secret art.
+++++++++++++

I love
This
City at
night;

how it's  ever-
faint
Light seems
to echo
in
the Voice
of
Secret Art!


(mostly out of
Sight.)

+

Angels wash
their
Dirty Wings,

(In
The fountain
Down
By Main Street.)

as Bill the
Old musician
Sings!

(Sonnets
To
Dead Love
 Dicreet.)

+

It's good
To
Fade into
The
Crowd at
Times;

while
blending in
with
Other
Faces ..

who get lost
In
Their Own Sad
Rhymes!

(Recalling
Former Graces.)
+

Yes,

I love this city
Of
Secret Art.

Created by so
Many Voices. .

That seem to
Share One Broken
HearT!

(For which
Old
Heaven still
Rejoices. )

J.s.h.

A shadow much darker than I .

When I blush a
Shadow
Much darker than
I

Paints my face with Smiles
that
Make All Dark Things
 Cry;

And love was not
There
For Me Then.

(The Day My Restless
Heart Died.)

+

The nights deaf ear

The night's
Deaf ear .
+++++++

As a
Kid.

They did
What monsters
Darkly do.

Still,..

revenge is
A bitch.

(Even if it
Takes a century
Or 2.)

+

Their pleas were
Beethoven to The
Night's Deaf Ear;

They brought
Endless tears. .


I created fear!

(So
 We both
Are victims Never
Leaving Here.)

+

Hugs to cure
The Lonesome
Dark?

Possibly,..

Though I view the
Dark as a Cancer
Which can Only Cure
Itself.

And what happens
Then
To heaven's heart? !!

( it makes A
Paradise
Of  Hell.)