The Absurd beauty in a suicidal smile.

The Absurd
Beauty in A
Suicidal Smile
+++++++++++++

Oh love,...
do you
Hate Me?

Because
I see
Absurd Beauty
In
A Suicidal
Smile!

I've just
been ..
feeling
Odd
Lately.

( and havent
believed in
Goodness for
a while.)

I Saw You
Yesterday..

walkin
Down
By The
Crimson
Sea,

(where we
used
to Pray.)


it'll likely
become
Another
Nightmare
Memory!

(that no
amount of
Booze can
wash away.)

Oh
Love do
You

Hate
Me?

Because
I
Chose to
Stick
Around and

Tough shit
Out?

Hoping
there
is
Beauty Left
to
See!!

(Regardless
that
My Heart is
Full
Of Doubt.)

When
Nights
are
Long,

(and
Darkness
Falls)

I
Try my
Damndest
To
Be Strong,

but hear
Your
Laughter
Down the
Halls!,

and
KNOW..!!!

that
it probably
won't
be
Long...

(before I
Wear
Suicidal Smile.)

J.Stephen.H.

The power of A Wanted Kiss.

The power
Of A Wanted
Kiss.
+++++++++++++

As I write
This..

Muses are
standing
Over my
shoulder
Snickering..

because
They do not
Understand
The
Power of a
Wanted
Kiss.

(Or know
The
Burn 🔥
Of Loves
Candle
Flickering.)

You
Own me
Dear,

with a
Simple
smiling
Glance..

and life
is
Full of
Shadows
Here!

(staining the
Wall with
Footsteps as
They
Dance.)

+

Yet
I will
Finish this
On
A
Happy Note..

in
Spite the muses
Critical
Mockery ;

Rejoicing in
everything I
wrote!

(Regardless
if it's only read
By
me.)

J.S.H.

Untitled nonsense for sensible souls mind-raped senseless.

Untitled nonsense

For sensible souls

who are mind-raped

senseless.

+++++++++++++

Writing poetic

Fictions across the

Walls of my heart

in shiT...

and it

Smells like weeping

Roses doesn't it?

the kind that cry

for desperate causes

The world praises.

(then forgets.)

but

If

I bled for you

would you still

Love me in the

Morning?

I have the

Razor in my

Mouth old flame!!

and will spit

Without

a

Warning.

(thoughmy
anti-hero

shit
Gets lame.)

×

Writing living fictions

Across the walls
Of

My Better-Off-Dead;

It tries to breathe

still doesn't it?

(This ghost of
You

Within My Head.)

J.Stephen.H.

Writing away the sickness.

Writing away the sickness.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++

I'm trying to write
away the sickness love...

But
only growing sicker.

Sick of the silence
up above!

My Soul a candle .

(That doesn't flicker.)
+

The MoNsTeR -mE
is getting  Worse,

I hear his laughter
constantly
now;

and
he knows about my
Secret Curse!!

(This Fear to speak
Before A Crowd.)

+

I thought you may have
been The Cure ..

an answer to my fleeting
Prayers..

Who might teach me
ways I could endure!

(Life's Many Haunted
NiGhTmArEs.)

+

but,
We're only
getting SicKeR
LovE...

Writing
TheSe LiVing
Midnight Tragedies.

So
Return to
Your
KinGdoM uP
AboVe!

(Or be eaten by
The
DeviLs iN
mE.)

J.Stephen.H.

The courtesy of loves razor blade.

The courtesy
Of loves razor
blade.
+++++++++++++

Due to the
Courtesy of
Loves Razor
Blade,

I'm left to
Bleed Alone
In peace;

(Before
Knowing
​​​​​​​The
Sting of
Hates
Regret)

As I say
Goodbye to
Joys which
Fade!!

(and Hello
To Ever-Dying
Sunsets.)

+

Our Fate
Was a Lonely
Pantomime;

trying
to climb
An Endless
Ladder,

and
Reach
A
Heaven
Beyond
Time!

(Where
Every Moment
Matters.)
+

yet
Due to
The courtesy
Of
Loves Razor
Blade;

I'm left
To
Die (alone)
In pieces!

(In This
Hell Without
You I Have
Made.)

J.Stephen.H.

Why make the haunted I cry?

Why make
The Haunted
 "I" cRy??
+++++++++

Oh how we
Hate us you
F?cking Bastard
Me!

Why make
The Haunted
 "I" cRy??!!

(Tears which
Flow eternally.)

Why ask why
When life is not
An answer to
A question?

We live, and
Die, then
Occupy.

(A space no
Others Mention.)

Oh how we
Hate Us you
F?cking Bastard
Me!

and..

My Haunted
Eye lives to
​​​​​​​See!!!!!

(Deaths which
Last Eternally.)



Jsh.

Last night I met a girl

Last night
I met a girl.
++++++++++

Last night
I
met a girl ,

And fell
in
Love
Immediately;

but
ten seconds
Later I hated
Her!

(for
Illuminating
The Darkness that
I See.)
I
+

In Plato's
cave there
is No clarity..

but ,
The Shadow
Things
seem
Safer..

Because
The
HearT
BreedS
Monsters in
Reality!!

(but dear
God, I can't
Escape Her!!)

J.stephen.h.

Tony taylor

There are few in society
remaining who serve as
Paragons of Hope, and
Social Virtue. Yet I am
Proud to say I know such
A Soul .

Tony Taylor, a Wordsmith
Of much diversity, has
(With many of his works)
contributed poetic literature
which will inspire generations
to come with it positive
Philosophy.

There has yet been a term
Coined to define the
Nature of his works, and
I fear the weakness of my
Pen would do more harm
than good in attempting to
describe them. So I will
instead meditate upon the
Impact such works may
potentially have upon the
World. (If it cares to Listen.)

Beast

Beast.
++++++

Operative
Word:
Beast.

Clawed
Lips, ..
and
heart
In a Cage.

Always
Eager for A
Feast.

(Of Smiles
that
It Eats With
Rage.)

+

When the
Sun Fades,
And Every
Pretty Face
Is Dead,

He shall
Relish in
The Hell
Love Made.

(Though
apparently
it's only
in his
Head.)

JSh

The intervention

The intervention.
+++++++++++++

Last night ,
The Angels held
an Intervention.

and
I cried
Before the Camera
For a while.

(Blinded by A
Light that no
Philosophy
has mentioned.)

 "We Love you
Stephen but your
Soul is sore."

 " go to Hell you
Feathered f?cks! "

(Stephen doesn't
Live Here Anymore.)

 "The Demons
cannot make you
Stronger,

or take away
The Pain You
Feel....

Just hold on
 for
a little longer,
And WE will
Show you what
is Real!"

(Yet nothing was
Revealed.)

 "What bothers
Me most about
This Shit,

Is I don't know
whether I want
To destroy the
World, or save it!"

 " to bring about
Eternal Night, or
Share with others
God's sweet light ...

which shines forever
In The Sky!! "

(The Angels Sad
Did Not Reply.)

+

 "Hi my Name is
Nameless, and I'm
A death-aholic.

I just can't stop
with One Grim
End,..

so
I wander many
World's and frolick,

searching for a
Kindred Friend!

(With whom The
Angels can't Pretend.)

+

The intervention
was a damn
disaster,

because the Camera
Lens was dark and
CLosed,

And The Angels
Died in Fits of
Laughter!

(Without Heaven
or a sweet Repose.)

13.

Why My PreTTy laughS nO more 👎

Why My PreTTy
Laughs no MoRe.
++++((++(((++++++

She lays
Stiffly on
The
Bed;

Her body
A
Work of
Art

Painted
OveR
This Nightmare
Canvas.

(Created in
My
Head.)

+

So
I tell
Sick Jokes
To pass
The Time;

but,
Lately She
Seems
bored..

and perhaps
The
Fault is mine ?!!

(Why My
Pretty Laughs
No More.)

+

On solemn
Nights when
Skies are
Bruised,

And
Ravens
sit
 in
Haunted
Trees,

I
Assume
That
GOd is
Unamused!

And
plotting
Secret
Hells
For Me!!

(For
Corrupting
His
Favorite Muse.)

+

but it didn't
have
To be this way
You know?...

We
Couldve been
Happy..

instead of
Feigning Joy
To conceal
Life's sorrow!

(Then
Ending
In Tragedy.)

+

She
Lays stiffly
On the
Bed ..

This work
Of art
I'll always
Adore.

Broken
by
NiGhTmArEs
In my
HeaD!!!

(and this
is why My
Pretty Laughs
No More...)

J.Stephen.H

In dark my psyche screams.

In dark my psyche screams.
+++++++++++++++++++++++

In Dark My
Psyche Screams:

 "I am not
The Enemy!"

 (Or am I?)

but An infant
of Lost
dreams.

Murdered in
The Blink of
An Eternal Eye.)

and..

Where do
I
Go from
Here?

(This Road
Where One
Life Ends.)

Will I exist
in
Another Sphere?

Or
Break every
Newborn
Heart!?!

(that
Forever Never
Mends.)

J.stephen.H.

In the midst of many storms.

In the midst of
Many storms, I
Consider The All,
and ask:

Am I praying
To myself in
Alternate Forms?

Why must we
Be separated?

Is there a reason
I have "become."
 (But a whisper
Of the devil I once
Hated.)

Jsh.

The ballad of Weeping Wrists.

The ballad of
weeping wrists.
++++13+++++

Some 

Cry 

with their
Eyes, ..

(Some 

with
Fists.)

Others 

Use

knives!!

and 
as 

Red Tears

Flow from 

weeping
Wrists,

They 
Question 

The
Absurdity..
Of 

wasted lives!!

(Misspent. )

+

Forgive me 

Dear ,

For shattering
your
restless

Heart,..

it seems 

Love's dream

Became
a nightmare,

and now
I'm 

Drowning

In The
Dark!!

(Without
Your
Haunted
Spirit
Here.)

+

At
Times 

I Think
These
Walls
Have Ears,

that

Store 

Dead 

Screams

In
Old
Houses

Of Eternal
Memory;

Or
A
Mouth 

which
feasts
Upon my
Fears!

(Consuming
Every Good
Thing In Me.)

+

Yet 

I

Never 
was

Afraid

To die,

until
I

felt 

True
Loves 

Appeal,.

Fleeing

Like a final

Sigh,

From
The

Angel that
my

Cruelty killed!!!

(and oh!!
It 

should have

Been I.)

J.s.h.

Those Dying gossips in the sky.

Those Dying
Gossips In The
Sky.
+++++++++

When she
smiled,
The hourglass
shattered
and
Black Sand
poured
Out
Into the World;

We
Have no Time
My
Love.

Embrace Me
with
Your Broken
Wings

and we'll
Laugh at, and
For,
and "with"
Eternity!

(that old tale
Told
By The Gossiping
Wives
Of Dying Stars.)

Oh,
The Day
No
Longer has A
Date!

But
Here/Now
(In this
Ever-present)
We
Can Create!

(Better
World's
In which to
Never Die.)

please love..
Don't
Cry.

The worst is
Yet
To Never Come,..

and we can
Sell
Those moments
That
We never
Owned!

(and join
Those
Dying gossips
In
The Sky.)

J.Stephen.fuckin.h.

Suicide Letters to A Silent God.

Suicide Letters
To A Silent God.
++++13++++

Suicide Letters
To
A Silent God;

Will
there ever be
Answers?

In
A world of
Pretentious
Frauds!

(who often
seem
like
Necromancers.)

+

Am
I tossing
Stones
Down

A
Bottomless
Well?

(While
hoping to
hear them
land.)

Or
Living in
A

Lonesome
Hell?!!!

The
Equivalent
of A
Grain of
Sand!!

(caught in
an Infinite
Ocean's
Swell.)

++
Oh,

These
Suicide
Letters to
A
Silent
God!!

Is
Screaming
 "Defeat !"
 ThE Answer ?

I
feel like
Such
A
Fraud!!

(or Incompetent
Necromancer.)

J.stephen.fuckin.h.

War of the Roses.

War of The Roses.
±++++±+++++++++

I would not be the
First (wanna-be)
Philosopher to describe
The battle of good
and evil as A Petty
Sibling Rivalry,...
Or Universal War
Of The Roses between
two Parents arguing
over How to raise
Their Kids.

(Yet I'm the only
One Who Dreams
Of This.)

++++

I have
recently
Learned to
Love
My Shadow;

And bless
Him
With a
Brother 's
Kiss!

Mother
blushed
maternal
joy!

(But
Father
Time
Grew
Pissed.)

I'm sorry
Father,

If I
make you
seem
like a secret
Joke..


told by
Your
Rebellious
Daughter ..

Who went
up in
True Loves
Smoke!

But Her Soul
was
Always cannon
Fodder!

(A
Truth
you
Do
Not
want
to
Know.)

To be cont. Perhaps.

Jsh.

A monster who only laughs .

A Monster Who
Only Laughs.
+++13++

No son..
Run
Away;

A Monster
walks these
Ivory Halls.

(And carries
The Corpse of
Yesterday.)

You're
no
longer Safe
Beneath The
Covers,

that
sheltered
you from
Hells Vast
Reach;

and made
A mockery
of
saints and
Lovers !

(Who seldom
Practice what
They Preach.)

Run away
My son..

And
never
look back;

For
Yesterday
Revealed
The
Holy one,

Is but
A monster .

(Who Only
Laughs.)

J.s.h.

As I Search The Stars for God.

As I Search
The Stars for
God.
+++13+++

Tonight
Love
Leaves Me
feeling
Odd,

(and Haunted
By Grief.)

as I search
The Stars for
God.

(pursuing
Pains relief.)

+

I've
given
up on
asking :

 "Why ?!"

do My
Devils
Live
While
Angels
Die!?

and
then
Curse
The
Silent
Sky!!

(Yet no
Longer
Do
I Cry.)

+

When
Morning
Comes will
Love
Be Gone?

(A Phantom
Clothed in
Midnight
Memories.)

Or will
It
Live To
See
Another
Dawn?!!

Good
God!!!

(Why
Don't
You
Answer
Me?)

J.s.h.

A brief conversation between the devil and i.

A brief conversation
Between the Devil and
I.
+++++++

Devil: so ...
You are in
Love;

But,..

Would you
sell Your soul
To kiss
Her?

(Beauty has
Always admired
An Ultimate
Sacrifice.)

I: perhaps,
But,..she already
Owns My Soul.

(and won't
Let Go.)

Jsh

Beautiful in an ugly world

Beautiful in
An Ugly World.
+++++++++++++

Oh..
To be
beautiful
In
An Ugly
World!

Watching
innocence
Perish.

I
Admire such
A
Girl.

Who can
Still Find Things
To
Cherish!

No darkness
Could ever
steal the stars...

shining brightly
In Your Eyes;

and
You carry
Well
Those
Midnight
Scars!!

(that
once
robbed
Your
Soul of
Paradise.)


You are
Beautiful in
An Ugly
World..

full of
Light that
Shall Not
Perish;

A Pretty,
Smiling
Girl!

(Whom
everyone
Shall
Cherish.)

J.S.H.

The Lonesome Dark

The Lonesome Dark.
+++++++13++++++++++

You look
pretty
in The Lonesome
Dark.

And (on cold
nights)
You Breathe
A fire in Me.

As I Lament the
Death of
Another Heart!

(But what is
That
to Eternity?)

+

Midnight told
my
Soul a Secret;

though
(in that
moment)
I didn't heed..

And
Because
Of
 "You"
I could
not keep
it!

(thus
remain a
Victim To
The
Devil's Need.)

+

A Perfect
End is quite
Serene,..

while
Mans
Greatest Loves
are
Long,
and Beautiful.

Yet mine
is
Somewhere
In Between!!

(Odd Living
And An Endless
Funeral.)

+

You look
Perfect In
Your
Lonesome
Dark;

Breathing
A
Fire No One
Sees.

Lamenting
The Passing
Of
My Heart!

But...

(What is that
To Eternity?)

J.Stephen.H

Kiss Farewell The sun

Kiss Farewell The Sun.
 ++++++13++++++++++

Kiss farewell
The
Sun My love
And..

Say
Goodnight..

To
Those Angels
You've
been dreaming
of!

(who filled
The World
with Heavens
Light.)

A sad,
uncertain
Creature
(Lust)
Haunts your
Heart in
Hateful Ways.

Then grinds
The
Bones of
Faith to Dust!

(To be
scattered
down The
Hall
Of Yesterday.)

Shake
the
Hand of Fate
My
Dear,
But..
Don't Hold
Your
Breath.

Because
all
Of
Us are
Prisoners
Here!!

(And the
Warden
of
Life is
Death.)

This
Shadow
Bids
Your Soul
to
Follow,..

down
A Dark,
Chaotic
Path;

You ask
him
Why His
Eyes
Are Hollow!

(I
look
at You and
Laugh.)

Kiss
Farewell
The Sun
My
Love,..

and..
Say
Hello to
Endless
Night.

For
Those
Angels
You've
Been
Dreaming
Of??

(were
Always
Devils
in my
Sight.)

J.Stephen.H.

the heaven of ourself

the heaven of ourself.
________________

Not everything
in Love implies
a choice,

(like how I
fall asleep
haunted by
the Lullabye
of your Voice.)

nor did I ask
to Love The
Way I Do.

(in such
 tortured
ways which
seem to torment
you.)

Yet the Heart
Reveals so many
Hells,

(burning in ones
restless mind)

that could lead
us to the Heaven
of Ourselves!

(if only we were
not so fucking
blind.)

j.s.h.

the light i made my enemy

the light i made my enemy.
+++++++++++++++++++++

Why should
I
view it as a
curse?

my interesting
ability..

To Murder
Angels
with a Verse.

(of Absurdist
Poetry.)

I will
not
blame Odd
Things Like
Fate,

but rather
claim This
Darkness
In Me..

and
continue
thus to
Desecrate!

(The Light
I Made My
Enemy.)

j.s.h.

charge of the lemming brigade

Charge of The
Lemming Brigade.
++++++++++++

Once more to the
Cliff Good Friends!

Heed not That
Lie concealed as
Fact.

There shall be
Paradise in The
End.

(regardless how
you choose to act.)

Ask and you
shall receive,
anything your
hearts desire,
if only you believe!

(alternative meaning
forged in fire.)

++++

and they all went
merrily down...

the leader and his
Lemming Friends;

then splattered on
the ground!

(no Truth Discovered
In The End.)

j.s.h.

the light shining through my madness.

the light shining through
my madness.
++++++++++++++++++

She had never
met
Madness before.

(of that I was
certain.)

merely pecked
lightly on it's
door.

(trying to
see
Behind The
Curtain.)

So does it
come as a
Surprise?

(when
Fiction
Meets
Reality.)

That A
Horror filled
Her Haunted
Eyes!

(when she
Viewed The
Madness That
is In Me.)

+

I'd never
met
True Beauty
Before.

(of that
I am Sure.)

Merely pondered
Theories of
Ancient Lore!

(concerning
Angels Sweet
and Pure.)

So does it
come as a
Surprise?

(when
Myth
Becomes
Real.)

That A
Revelation
Filled My
Eyes!!

(and taught
My Hateful
Soul To Feel.)

+

You My
Love
are Never
Gone.

On Nights
when I am
too distraught,

to Hope
I See Another
Dawn,

and
Remember
Grace I
have Forgot!

No...
You are
Here.

This Place
Where
Goodness
Happens.

(A Light
Shining
Through
My Madness.)


j.s.h.

the below we must endure

the below we must endure.
++++++++++++++++++++

yes love...
i am a cynic
indeed.

and can
readily show
you..

how a rose
by other name
is

but a weed!

i
still recall
that first slap
we shared...

arguing
vague,
nonsensical
issues.

it let me
know you
Cared.

(so of
course I
abandoned
you.)

yes love.

i am a
cynic for
sure.

and will
readily
show you
how
Above

is the
Below
We Must
Endure.

jsh

the tears of a critic

the tears of a critic.
+++++++++++++

and for The
Artists
next trick ...

he will
saw himself
in Half.

Waiting for
The Tears of
a Critic.

(who only
Laughs.)

He is The
Anti-Something.

Sure only
of
Uncertainty,

or

Alternate States
of
Objective Being.

(that could
easily be Me.)

and...

for his next
trick,

he will
saw The
World
in half.

then
Say
Goodbye
to The
Critic.

(or
lament
My Hateful
Laugh.)

jsh

my lovers lips are dead

mY LoveRs LiPs
ARe DeAd.
+++++++++++

My Lovers Lips
are
Not Like Others,

My Lovers Lips
are
Dead;

She comforts
me
Beneath
The Covers.

(and soothes
The
Reptiles
In My Head.)

Her Soul got
Pimped
for Thirteen
Seconds,

of Fame 

She
Never Lived 

To See,

but shes existed
longer
than I"d reckoned!

(In A Machine
of
Edited Memories.)

+

My Lovely's
Face
is Not Like
Others

My Lovely's
Face
is Flat,..

she grew
up
In A House
of
Brothers,

who'd
Beat
Her
when She
Laughed!

+

 i
try to tell
Her

Life has
Purpose,

though  

it's
hard Instilling
One
with Faith,

when
Conditioned
to feel

Odd
and
Worthless.

(Like
A
Tool Most
Others
Hate.)

+

and yet,

My Lovers
Kiss
is Not Like
Mine,

My Lovers
Kiss
is Warm,..

defying
Death
and All 

of
Time.

(In Spite
Life's Many
Storms.)

+

She saved
My Soul
from Inner
Torment,

the
Moment that
I
Saw Her
Smile,..

for My
Love is
still quite
Innocent!

(and
Shall
Never
Be
Defiled.).

J.stephen.h.

thumb twiddler ponders the universe

thumb twiddler ponders the universe.
_++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

he just sits there for hours.
twiddling his thumbs
and
biting the heads off flowers,
wondering why he feels
so numb; (or deprived of
heavens powers.)

myth and meaning both
mean something,
but its nothing to him
anymore,

another meaning to
spout and dispose
of in
place of other
meanings
now adored;

the circularity is
maddening.
because it leads to
the construction
of a
Square Box to live in

without really understanding
whats
Happening.

(is ignorance bliss or sin?)

he spins and spins,
imperfectly
attempting to
perfect a perfect
circle
till the world is right
again;

but..
others are still others

and

he dreads to be Another
Other

who completes this vast
absurdity,

in fact it makes
him
want to
SCREAM!!!

(or just twiddle his
fucking
thumbs and dream.)

brief illustration of a modern conversation

Brief Illustration of a Modern
Conversation.
+++++++++++++++++

bored individuals talking AT
each other rather than to one
another while stating cliche's
intended to flatter without
bothering to understand the
message.

hello how are you thanks for
asking i love the hair and wardrobe
the weathers nice today my team
lost but they'll get em next time;
jesus saves, the devil leads astray;
and what about those douchebag
politicians eh?

well...

talk AT you tomorrow.

not all muses are sane

iv'e said it before
and
will say it again:

Not All Muses
are
Sane,

nor
is Love Always
a
Bandage
for

The Broken
Soul.

Life
(for some)
is shaped
by
Pain.

(and Death
Becomes The
Goal.)
++

I
will not
flatter
my
Love
with
Flowers...

or
Sentiments
intended to
Attract,

i'd rather
bore her Dead
for Hours,

stating
Simple Facts!

(concerning
Worldly Powers.)

+


For Bitter
Truth in spite
of
Pain,

is Sweeter
made
when two
agree,

to
make their
Inner Muses
Sane,

and shape
New Destinies!

philosophy essay

Once upon a beginning, 

there

was a harmony which 

existed

amongst the ageless 

beings of

existence. 

All was One 

Form

and that Form 

was All.

Enter Chaos:

the great division.

a conflict of 

forms

now clashing in every

direction simultaneously,

attempting

to be separate from

The All..

making Opposition

a

Law which is Necessary

to 

Shape The

Sacred

Individual.

ENter art:

(to be continued.

with your assistance.

where has the Dead time went?

where has the dead time went?
++++++++++++++++++++++

why
will
you not
relent?

should
memory
wield a tragic
blade?

(or Kisses
burn with
TormenT.)

how can
one be ruined
by

A Lovely
Face?

(where has
ThE DeaD
TimE went?)

I see
you still
through

BroKen
WinDoWs,

smiling
like
A PreTTy
FiEnD,

who
vanishes
when

The Cold
Wind
Blows!

(but returns
to HaunT mY
dReamS.)

+

why are
you still
HeRe?

Odd
Mystery
with eyes
which
AlwaYs
See ThRouGh...

or..
Creator of
All Inner
Fear...

and Destroyer
of My
Solitude!!

Oh,
How can
one be

Murdered
by A Simple
Stare?

made to
be A Living
Ghost,

searching
Darkness
everywhere!!

(For A Light
it Craves The
Most.)

j.stephen.h.

what makes the bright things dark

what makes the bright things dark.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++

her eyes were heartless
whispers

which could fake a pretty
smile/

and intrigue those midnight
listeners

with an element of
style.

but
I Know what makes The
Bright

Things Dark,

and have Seen Life hold
the Hammer

that once Broke Her Angel
Heart!

i
watch it from My Constant
Gray,

where black and white play
like children

with The Ball of
Yesterday!!

i just lack her blessing of
denial.

(and could never fake
a smile.)

j.s.h.

jokes told by a maddened crowd.

jokes told by a maddened crowd.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++

if i died at the end,..
then
who's writing this?

save a dance for
me old flame.

(we never shared
a kiss.)

the laughter seems
near
endless now,..

(but i scarcely
hear it anymore.)

jokes told by
a
Maddened Crowd!!

(who will be
weeping by the
encore.)

if i'm still alive
then
how are you
killing me?

drop the
vengeful blade
old flame!!

(you didn't
have
a chance to
breath.)

1,000 deaths
later

and
There you
are.

My
Lovely
Catastrophe.

as
lasting as
A

Falling
Star!!!

(that
always
lands on
me.)

j.s.h.

my favorite commerical

my favorite commercial.
++++++++++++++++++++
this is my
favorite
commercial..

where two
blind
eyes invert,
and see into
a mystery.

death..

a
completely
balanced
part of Your
Finite
Existence..!

(The
Scourge
of Human
History.)

Pretty
Faces
sell more..

but
the ugly
truth is
free..

and this
is why I
choose it;

why I embrace
Reality!

(deafened by
Life's Silent
Music.)
+++

i love
This Part..

where the
Part I play
tries

New Faces..

and almost
grows a
Human Heart

that is not
Bittered By
The Ages!

(or half
so Endless-
Dark.)
+

shh...

the best
scene
draws near;

where i
fall down
stairs
before reaching
the top

because
I Fear
The
Bottom
Here.

(so much
I feel My
Heart Stop.)

j.s.h.

a laugh for help

a laugh for help.
++++++++++++

lately i feel so damn
crazy that even my cries
for help come out as
laughter;

and there's no one in
the audience

but
countless
me's

clapping because something
in us tells them to.

(without knowing why we
hunger desperately for
a strangers praise.)

i
know this is
madness..

it certainly is.

but madness strikes
me truer

than any social
mask..

those personaes one
adopts to blend

and frolick with
THis Flock Of
Fools

Who Eat
THeir

Favorite Shepherds.

+++++++++

prologue
++++++++

damn im so crazy
that i could almost
scare
myselves sane;

almost...

(yet then i'm
sure that the sanity
of it all

would Drive
Us Mad Again.)

j.stephen.h.

so that my heart may live again

so that my
heart may live again.
++++++++++++

"thanks for
teaching
me how to
die."

(she said.)

"for
it inspired
me to live,
and
i'm happy."

(for now.)

"the smiles
are not as
forced,..and
my tears
come less."

+

you're welcome
love.

your heart made
a beautiful corpse,

but

i like it more
these days..

how it beats
sanity

during
these
awkward
midnight
moments,..

when I
sit quietly
in front of
this box

sharing My
Truthful Fictions
with

A Careless
World.

If Fate
had A Will
it

would be
pleased with
You;

Your Rebellion
against A
Force once
Thought Inevitable.

How you
threw away
The Dice

and decided
to be

"The Prize!"

perhaps someday
you can teach ME
how to die.

(so that my heart
may live again.)

j.s.h.

experimental prose.

response to the liar

the liar
wears
his crown of
thorns,

a slave to
liberty;

seeking
peace..

in the
Center of
A
Storm!

(from
which
No Soul
is Free.)

arguments of taste.

arguments of taste
++++++++++++++

words..

The
only
Things I
Do
Not Waste.

All Else
is
For The
Birds..

or written
off as
Arguments
of Taste.

(as I
Drown in
The
Absurd.)
+

My personal
phantasmagoria
leaves many
Frightened...

afraid of living
ghosts which
wander always
in My Head;

and Loves
Calamity is
Heightened!

(by The Fact
My Heart is
Dead.)


ah,
Words...

The Only
Things On
which I still
get Wasted.

Fruits of
The Absurd!

(most wish
they'd never
Tasted.)

jsh

you were the last

it was here
we
Danced.

2
Maniacs
playing
The
Part of
Sane.

(Because there's
Madness
in Romance.)

then...

you took
My
Devil Hand..

trying to
lead me to
This Place,

where
Angels
walk
A
Fallen
Land!

(restoring
The Smiles
on Each Face.)

+

yet now
I Dance Alone
At
Night...

Lamenting
laughter
long
since passed.

Looking for
Another Light!

(yet
Knowing
that
You Were
The Last.)

LiKe MaDnEsS mIsSeS tHe MoOn.

like madness
misses the moon.
(second version)
+++++++++++++

Oh
Love..

how
I
miss
You...

Like
Madness
misses
The MooN.

or
Mourning
DoVeS

(In depths
of Winter.)

crave
The
Month of
June!

   +

The
Monster in
Me
was A Child,

(who
grew up
near a

DeSoLaTe
woOd.)


Roaming
A
HaunTeD
WiLDeRnEsS
WiLd!!!

(Where
The
Cemetery
Of
Love once
stood.)

  +

oh
Love..

how
I
need
You..

like
sHaDoWs
need
ThE SuN.


your
Eyes Are
an
AbYsS
I fall InTo!!

(To
DiscoVeR
we are
OnE.)

j.s.h.

(to be
continued
perhaps.)

tears of youth

there are ghosts
in her words that
come alive in my
head..

memories of a
better time.

(before the smiles
were dead.)

and i trust what
i know to be her
lies..

more than any
truth.

because I also
tell them with
my eyes!

(which shed
the tears of
youth.)

beyond the glitter

no smile shines
beyond the glitter.
+++++++++++++

why does
an angels
sins taste
sweet?

even when
her heart
be bitter?

and
hard enough
to break your
teeth.

(no smile
shines beyond
the glitter.)

tell me dear..
do you come
here often?

this place of
endless tears!!

where
memories
drown in
Nightmare
Coffins!!

(yet retain
the stench
of years.)

i hope
you stay
a little
while..

long
enough
to
share your
Sin..

and
Blind me
with
that Brilliant
Smile!

(which
conceals
the Darkness
Deep Within.)

J.S.H.

dirty angel kisses stink.

dirty angel kisses stink.
+++++++++++++++++++++

theres a half-smoked
cigarette butt laying on
the side of the road.
"my lucky day." he thinks.
(heart ready to explode.)

dirty-angel kisses
still haunt him..

and whiskey is a
shitty mouth wash
to forget the taste
of such a thing.

"i'll get revenge
on all of them."

(make an ArT of
Heaven's SufFeRiNG.)
+++

the voices think he's
crazy,

and on sane days
he agrees with them,

though sane days are
four-leaf clovers
from the gods of men!

(and the gods are often
lazy.)

++++

the cigarette doesnt
last long,..

"damn" he thinks..

"i was supposed to
be strong."

(but dirty-angels
kisses stink.)

j.s.h.

big jester

the big jester in the sky.
++++++++++++++

GoD?...

well..
there is a
BiG
jEsTeR
sitting in
the SkY,
wearing a
FuCk YoU
HaT.

(with the worlds
name on it...)

++++

curiously he watches
his little ants scurry
in their concrete fields
of shit..

slaves to unknown
passions of a source
still unexplained.

+++++

hells laughter is
the answer to all
prayers;...

in this
 semi-colon
state of BeInG

(similar to Constant
NIghtMaReS.)

++++

and..
who will
deliver us?
(from US!!)

or wipe away
the bloody tears
we cut into our
eyes to "feel"!!!??

(something
other than US.)

++++

god?

well...there
is a big jester
sitting in the
sky wearing a
fuck you hat
with the worlds
name on it
laughing at us
ALL.

(because it
is US.)

j.stephen.h.
(fuck you/us
all...)

WOULDA SHOULDA COULDA

woulda shoulda coulda
=================

some things are better staying could'ves...would'ves or whens... for if they become shouldves, they're more prone to be constant ghosts of never.

I...shouldve loved but never
had a heart...
wouldve tried but never knew
how.

when im able i will....
(blank)

and what fresh heaven is
this dorothy?

you know better than to
question the digger about
the depth of the rabbit
holes...

you never get a sane
answer and its NOT tea
in that cup...its...

well anyway.

no bother about that love.

let us discuss the
times we wouldve but
never...

and be the nows we shouldve
been.

(before our hearts died.).

lamentations of a tragic clown

lamentations of
a tragic clown/.
++++++++++++

today i am the
tragic clown

laughing
ugly tears.

yesterday i was
a man.

(haunted by
a

multitude
of fears.)

you ask me
why

i

break these
lines.

and marvel
how

they seem
to

sink...

deeper in

the

mire of
time!

(i do so

thus,

to make
you

think.)
++++

last night
i

was the

happy fool.

who had
first

discovered
the

intensity of
Love.

but

ill forever
be the
tragic clown.

(now)

(A Never
Ceasing Mourning
Dove.)

j.stephen.h.

skull kissed bullet lullaby

skull kissed bullet lullaby.
+++++++++++++++++++++

on september 8th
2013, my brother
kissed a bullet with
his skull.

he always
had an odd romance
with death.

(and never believed
in things like human
souls.)

i cant remember
the last thing he said
to me, because i was
blasted...

but,

I know that he called.

(probably to lament
his misery, and remind
me how all good men
fall.)

it was his idea...
to ...
burn the midnight
muse in me,

to..
show the world
how sick it was,
and reveal how
I (by extension)
am simply in the
lead.
             +

theres really no
need for prophets
anymore,

because every
man
is a prophet unto
himself...

trying to open
heavens door,

but more often
peering in the
Cellar of Hell.

(so easy to..
confuse the two.)

            +

on september 8th
2013 the memory
of true loss first
entered my skull...

and..
i have this sick
romance with
death.

(which stains my
very soul.)

j.stephen.h.
+++++++++++++++

note: this is based upon
a true story that i wish was
not a true story.

R.I.P

Donovon.

the death of hateful flowers

the death of hateful flowers.
+++++++++++++++++++++

her: where were you
my love?

him: drunkenly ranting
at the sky,

and wishing death upon
Hateful Flowers.

her:why stephen,
why??

him: Because of the wretched
"I"
iNsIdE!

(which Haunts Me Through
The Midnight
Hours.)
            +

Her: Oh If Only I Had
Heavens Power.

The Things I would
Achieve!

No True Love would
ever Sour,

and All Men Would
Believe!!


him:which is why im
under your spell.

because i'd never known
a moments peace and
my life has been pure
hell.

her: oh, surely, surely
there was some good?

him:never.

i've always been
misunderstood, and
out of place...

except when we two
are together,

and I can see your
laughing face!

her:so, why the drunken
ranting at the stars?

the constant state of
worldly questioning?

him: because life has
rent my soul with scars
and pain beyond worth
mentioning!

her: oh, stephen i love
you more by every hour,...
i

(interrupted as he gets
up and begins to walk
out without ceremony.)

where are you going??

him:

to pick you a flower.

j.stephen.h.

lying stars

the stars are liars you know.
dont
trust the wretched things my
love.

don't...
fret away your lonesome days
in
wait for things which shall not
be.

be your own star shining in the
fires
of lifes tragedy love...

take life by its broken wings and
mend
the words unspoken in your
soul.

another haunted smile to desecrate

another haunted
smile to desecrate.
+++++++++++++++

Her EyEs
wErE
the last MeAl
that
    I
aTe.

GrAy
sToRmS
waiTing
    for
A
SuNnY dAy..

which bore
tHe QuEsTiOn

could tHiS
     lOvE
be 
FaTe??!!

(or another
HaunTed 
   sMiLe
to 
DeSecRaTe??!!)

jsh

love/hate cookies

love/hate cookies.
++++13++++++

i once took all of my
love/fear/hate and
rolled it into a
middle finger shaped
fuck you cookie for
all the world to see,
eat,.. and ponder
philosophically.

the critics were the
first to choke on the
salty dough of my arts
dissent.

they said i was
 "crazy"
but

the voices assured me
that im well

enough to know the
world is more

fake than a politician
on election day.

so where do i go
from here?

when every rabbit
hole has been
explored

and foxes are smart
enough to

swim rather than
jump down

ditches where
dead things

eat wishes like
fallen stars

breeding
puppet

Masters who
create

our Mortal
Scars!!

whats crazy
about that?

forgive me if
your nine to
five society

cannot appreciate
my Thirteenth
Existence in this
Dreaded Place.

(at least there's
love/hate cookies.)

jsh

ironically bearded hipster demons

ironically bearded hipster demons.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++
sure...everyone has
demons, but mine are
worse (and you probably
don't know them)

they are ancient, ironically
bearded hipster demons
who scoff at the modernity
of your convention.

they were...demons before
being a demon was "cool"
and "mainstream" (even before
it was cool to apply exclamation
points to words for stated
emphasis.)

they are coffee house demons.
(non fat latte non whip demons)
and write novels that no one
has ever seen, read, or will
be worthy to see and read because
they are not amongst the
"avant garde".

i've tried exorcising my
demons...

but...

that would be uncool.
so i just write about them.

(neener neener nooh.)

a respectful jab at eliot

a respectful jab at eliot.
_______________

not with a
bang,
but a limp
right?

the beast
felt
an inescapable
hunger
pang

that lasted
through
the night.

time for
countless visions
and
revisions...?

this is the
stuff..

but no decision
or
indecision seems
good
enough....

to halt the
progress of
decline..

the molded
bread
some call divine

yet dip into
the devils
bloody wine!

and
the women...

the women
come and go...

chattering
about dead
souls like
picasso

as I
(in Silence)
sit...

(wondering
about the next
destination
I shall limp.)

j.s.h.

lost in the stare

lost in the stare.
+++++++++++
and...
right before
you
think you're
through

her
eyes
become
hungry stars
that
devour you.

and..
you're glad
to
be beaten...

happy to
be eaten..

lost in
the stare
of
This Angel
from
Afar.

jsh

for anna

social puppets

In former days,
men of ideas and
good intention were
often ignored until
years after their
death. Then The lies
they spoke became
cherished truths that
others chose to live
by.

(and ironically this
gives me hope.)

Society (it seems
to me) has always
been in a sad state
of affairs, and governed
by Greedy Bankers
who buy and sell
politicians who will
further their power
hungry agendas.

(Now it's simply in
a Sadder State of
affairs, and most are
Puppets Ignorant
of their Strings.)

into another shell

into another shell
+++++++++

no ones ever
awake at this
timeless...

they're all
tucked away
in
dreams of
self..

wondering
where life's
meaning is.

(somewhere
other than This
Shell.)

I think
most are
really
deeply lonely..

even when
sitting in
crowded rooms..

feeling
like The One
and only.

(Flower
that Never
grows,
or Blooms.)

I wish
I could somehow
Save
Us All..

from The
World and
Darker Selves..

but
every timeless
that
I climb

I Fall!!!!

(into another
Shell.)

j.s.h.

for love has freed me from this prison

for love has
freed me from
this prison.
+++++++++++

twas a cold
cold night and
the moon was
hidden...

gone were
stars,

and pretty
things.

in that
hollow world
of Love
Forbidden.

(where
ruled A
Careless,
Absent King.)

+++


flowers
die the
moment i
pick them.

yet I
crave to
feel the
kiss of her..

touching
something
deep within.

( but is there
Forgiveness
for Beauty's
Murderer?)

+++

I
walk a
Path of
Constant
Night..

wandering
The Dark
in search
of A Way..

to
A
World
of Joy
and
Endless
Light!

(which
eases The
Grief of
Yesterday.)

+++

twas a
Bright Bright
Day

and
The Sun
was
Risen..

gone were
tears,

and
frowns of
woe.

For Love
has Freed
Me From
This Prison!!

(and follows
everywhere I
go.)

j.s.h.

soft kicks to the head

Soft Kicks to
The Head.
++++++++

Her Kisses
were
Soft Kicks to
The Head.

Like
Early
Morning
Cigarettes

before
Coffee.

Or..

A
Mind
Breaking

Once the
HearT
is
Dead!

(I told you
The Reaper
would'nt
Stop Me.)

+++


yet
ironically
(it seems)

This Hell
We Share
is
preferable!

(to The
Heaven
Others
Dream.)

+++

I don't
trust
it
when
Her
Eyes Puke
Love..

because
they
scarcely
seem
Aware..

of
Those
Devils
Plotting
High
Above!

(writing
Their
Curses
in
The Air.)

+++

I
didn't
tell her
She was
Beautiful
Today.

and
so

The
World
Ended.

(for a
While.)

until
She lost
the inner
Strength to
Pray!


(and
Vowed
to
Never
Laugh
or
Smile.)

+++

Her
Silence
Now
Screams
Within
My Head.

tis

A
Late
Night
Party

(intended
for
One.)

or
Moon
Weeping
After
The
World
is
Dead!!

(I
told
you
Love
would
soon be
Done.)

j.stephen.h.

________