as a smile cuts your cheek

as a smile cuts your cheek.
++++++++++++++++++++++

How do i say
"I Love You?"
when our tongues
are not the same?

And my Eyes
Pay cruder
compliments.

(to lust without
a name.)

The Stars give
terrible advise.
(suggesting half-assed
faith.)

still,
you direct my
thoughts toward
Paradise!

(though my heart
remains a Wraith.)

how do I say
"I love you"?
when I've never
heard you speak?

and your Eyes
Are Graves I
Fall Into!!

(as a smile cuts
your cheek.)

j.s.h.

dead september

DeAd SePtEmBeR.
++++++++++++++++

September is
for
the wandering
dead..

a time to
dwell
on Restless
Memories.

(and Dance
With Skeletons
In My Head.)
+

I try ignoring
angelic idols..
who sing false
tragedies to
fading stars..

while murdered
by Demonic Rivals!

(who get off on
The Taste of Scars.)
_

i've seen my
Brother in Several
Dreams..

he never turns
his head my way...

just pulls the
Trigger once and
screams.

(forever lost in
Yesterday.)
+

yes,
september
is for the
Dead;

A Time to
dwell on
Sacred Moments.

(and all the
things I should
have said.)

j.s.h.
_________

heavens whispers in a golden room

heavens whispers in a golden room.
++++++++++++++++++++++++

his words seem
like childish
whispers
in a paper-septic
room..

where shadows slowly
nibble on the light
and spread their gloom.

but,
i love you
cuz..

and see your
"SOUL".

(just
as all Good
Angels Do.)

they're with you
when you gasp
for breath..

trying to fight...

the
sour-dough-stench
of Death.

(which lingers
in your room at
night.)

and they listen
when
you cry!

(hoping
to set the
wrong things
right.)

karma doesn't
work this way..

(nor cast ones
soul to hell's
confinement.)

and while
its True
All
have A Price
to
Pay..

"god"
collects The
Final rent!!

(then wipes
our debt away.)

+++

his words
are Heavens
Whispers
in A Golden
Room...

where
(soon)
Angelic
listeners
shall Defeat
The Shadows
Gloom.

j.s.h.

for chad.

love you man.

a spider draining me

a spider
draining me.
+++XIII+++++

a quick gesture
      of
Her Head..

to shake The
  Spiders
  Loose...

But Their
    Eggs
 hatch
The New-
Born
 Dead!

(and Oh
The Madness
    They
Produce!!)
     +

Could i
   truly sell
my soul
    for
This??

(Forfeit
Those
Sacred Parts
    of
Me.)

When
There's
   No
Salvation
   in
A Kiss!!!

(and Love
resorts to
 Slavery.)
   +

she
       Sheds
A
Brief Half-
Second
   Smile...

        to
reveal Grim
Beauty's
   Mockery..

as I laugh
(sadly)
     In
   Denial!!!!!!

(that she
is A
   Spider
Draining
   Me.)

j.s.h.

in the silent heavens thus implored

In the Silent Heavens
Thus Implored.
++++13++++++

It didn't take long..
(our fall from Grace.)

I couldn't even finish
my love song!

Before Demons ate
that Pretty Smile!

(off Her Angel
Face.)

+

Oh,
Save Me Lord!
she
Bitterly Wept;

(Heart Consumed
By Life's Discord.)

but Nothing stirred,
nor answered, or
Crept!!

(In the Silent Heavens
Thus Implored.)

+

So..
it's didn't take
long..
(to embrace
sweet death)

once the Reaper
Sang His Fabled
Song!

(and Robbed
My
Angel of Her
Breath.)

j.stephen.h.

since heaven was never ours to rent

since heaven
was never ours
to rent.
+++++++++

it's finally
happened
dear..

i have
forgotten.

the pretty
ghost who
once stood
lively here.

(before her
smile grew
rotten.)
+

the wall no
longer asks
about you..

we have
reached an
agreement..

and never
discuss what
cloud you went
to!

(since Heaven
was never Ours
To Rent.)
+

yes,
it's finally
happened
dear..

i have
forgotten.

that Pretty
Ghost who
once danced
Happy Here!!

(before my
Heart Grew
Rotten.)

j.stephen.h.

memories and screams

memories and screams.
+++++++++++++++++

tonight i'm
A LivinG dEad
SkeletoN

petting
nightmareS
in My
HeadS subtoXic
boX..

you kissed me
there once..

remember?!!

(beFore the
sTarS became
mere RockS.)

+++

Without
us..

(box
half-empty)

who could
ever Hope
to Be an Optimist
full Of Dreams?

for when
Hearts of Stone
become Dust,

Nothing remains
of LoVe...!!!

(but Memories
and Screams.)

j.stephen.h.

throat slit muses

throat-slit muses.
(bleeding from
my pen.)
++++13+++++++

oh no..
its..
happening
again..

demons
marching
row by row.

(with throat-
slit Muses
Bleeding From
My Pen.)

+

i thought
A Perfect Kiss
would Save
Me..

but it never
quite
works out that
way...

since Love
inspires Willful
Slavery!

(and we
Suffer
it's Lashes
Everyday.)
+

Our First
Hello was
Goodbye in
Disguise..

so why
bother
telling her
The Truth?

concerning
My Exile
from
Paradise!

(which
happened
early on
in Youth.)

+

Still..

I tend
to wonder
all too
often..

was it
merely
Destiny?

For my
Heart to
Become
an Icy
Coffin?!

which
led her
thus
to seek!!!

(A Light
within The
Darkest Parts
of Me.)

+

damn..
it's happening
again..

for the Very
Last Time..

Throat-Slit
Muses Bleeding
from My
Pen!!!!

(as
Thanatopian
Bells Now
Chime.)

j.stephen.h.

a brief but hearty tearshit

a brief (but HeArTy)
TearShit.
________________

(un)funny how
you Mention
Toxic;
as
my heart shits
tears Sad Angels
feed to Happy
wolves.
(Never To
Be FeD.)

they are
wise-ass
carnivores
I once thought
Fools.

(Created By
Sick "Me's"
Beneath Our
Bed.)

but
why contain
truth in a
parenthesis?

(better
question:)

or
share this
Sacred Lunacy?


pearls before
ungrateful
swine

intent
on Porcine
Mockery!

(and upon
the heart they
dine)



oh
(funny) how
the Well of
Hope Runs
Dry..

and..
(in the
desert
of despair)

you are
There!

to eat
the painted
smile from
My eye!

(because it
 never
fucking took
us anywhere.)

the owl

The Owl
++13++
(tribute to poe)
_______

There was
an
Owl sitting
outside
My window..
who
looked at me as
If to say:

"I am
watching
everywhere you
Go!"

(And you cannot
Escape.)
+

I tried my
hardest
Not to shudder,
But all
attempts
were thus in vain..
For I jumped the
moment that it
fluttered !

(Into the dirty
panes.)
++

Thus to my room
I quickly fled,

(chancing not a
second look)

but The Owl was
sitting on my bed!

(and perched upon my
Favorite Book.)
+++

"Be gone thou
wicked Spawn !" 
I screamed,

(As mounting terror
filled my head)

hoping this was but
A Dream.
(Yet knowing I was
Likely Dead.)
++++
The owl just
Stood there oddly
staring,
(Hateful eyes of
Hell unblinking.)
Till soon I found
Myself not Caring.
(Into what pit my
Soul was sinking.)
+++++
Take me then,
You feathered fiend!
(I yelled with reckless
Hearts abandon.)
For Life is but a step
Between, the hardest
Rock and softest
Phantom!
A void of Endless
Suffering!!!
(Where all Men Sing
The Devils Anthem.)
++++++
soon
After this my soul
grew weak,
And so i sat down
On the bed,
wondering if the
Owl would speak,..
But a smile crossed
its beak instead!
Causing me to shriek!!

Oh..surely. .
Surely! !

(I Am DeAd.)

1. J.Stephen.H.

a stones throw from hell

a stones-throw from hell.
+++++++++++++++++++

(A Stone's-Throw
from Hell,
and Three Worlds
Shy of Heaven.)

I met an Angel
who

showed me
Devils
could be Pretty...

with
Secrets on Her
Lips to Tell.

(loosened by
SaTaNiC
Whiskey.)

+++

Why are you
not scared?
(she asked.)

Does Beauty
soften Horrors
Wretched Sting?



I looked
at
her and
laughed.

For my
Head is
A Nightmare.

(beyond
imagining.)

j.stephen.h.

a sad un-being

a sad un-being
++++++++++++++

He tries hard
Perpetuating
The Myth of
Human...

fitting more
tightly into
loose Skin
designed by
Jester Gods.

(to conceal
A
Sad
Un-Being.)


Happy is
The
Fearless
Mask..

and
Sad-Sack
Smile!

(Death
Never
Tires of
Seeing.)
+++

Mother
Nature
wasn't
always
so...
chaste..

or
eager to
see Creation
Prosper.

She once
sold
Freedom
for a Taste!!

(of all Dead
Fruits which
Chaos Offered.)

+++

He must
be The
Un-Wanted
Bastard..

The ..
Dirty
Secret Between
The Two.

Conceived
when
Heaven and
Hell
Were Plastered.

(telling Lies
Most Think
are True.)

+++

but...
he does
well at
perpetuating
the myth
of HuMaN.

and..
fitting
tightly into
loose
skin designed
by
hateful gods!!

(to
conceal
an Empty
Being.)

j.s.h.

an odd thing

an odd thing.
++++++++++++++
Memory is an odd thing..
working for, with or against
you in varying degrees.

Sometimes the Heart
adds to it what it wishes
were true...
combating a cruel reality.

Hello my name is: Idiot.
Sitting on my Pedagogic
Stool,
wearing The Mask of
Genius..
TO convince Love I am
not a Fool.

Here
(in my mansion)
I am King..

and slave.

to paupers of Vice who
Rule

the holiest parts of me!

(forever now a grave.)

jsh

deplorable chatter

deplorable chatter.
+++++++++++++++

I lament how
boring beauty is...

(how dull the smiles
of life have become.)

it is a mask painted by
hypocrites.

(who eat shadows
yet weep beneath
the sun.)

I am trapped in seas
of deplorable chatter..

(the greatest fool
in my own right)

pretending something
In Here Matters.

waiting restlessly for
the night.

(love returns to kill
hate's laughter.)

when it storms

when it storms.

++++++++++++++

she's always nervous when

it storms...

(it's one of her many feminine

charms.)

obsessed with ghosts, and

Shadow Forms.

(until I hold her in my

Arms.)

+++

I try to kiss the dark

away...

(back to somewhere

safe, and sunnier.)

but my love is trapped in

yesterday.

(and Death Tells Jokes

that Once Seemed

Funnier.)

+++

Outside The cold rain

fights its War.

(Against A Sun which

caused Olde Scars.)

though neither recall what

they're fighting For!!

(since both are surrounded

by Good Stars.)

+++

she usually cries each time

it storms...

(its one of her many feminine

charms.)

and I always Defeat those

Shadow Forms!!!!

(whenever I hold her in

My Arms.)

j.stephen.h.

walking the waters of the deep

walking the waters
of the deep.
+++++++++++++

what do you
do?

when the
Shadow
in you seeks
to
applaud...?

Roses
Born,
with scents
anew?

(but lacking
any faith in
god.)

++

Do you
struggle
Blindly
Without
Hope?

Cursing
Life as if
A Prison?

Or consider
Ending By
The Rope??!!

(which
bearsA Mark ofRealism.)

+++

I Myself
Embrace
That Shadow...

(who tempts
me in My
Restless
Sleep.)

till Life's
Abyss
seems
Laughably
Shallow!

(and I
Walk The
Waters
Of The Deep.)

j.stephen.h.

..

coffin-ears. (which hear eternity whispering.)

Coffin-Ears.
(which Hear
Eternity
Whispering.)
+++13++++

Spare Not
Your
Arsenic Kiss
My
Flame..

i'll die
Within
You.

(feigning
Happy.)

for we
All Have
Secret
Shame!

(an
Epilogue
to
Life's
Sweet
Tragedy.)

+++

I Miss
that Pretty
Rotten
Smile..

(Beauty
in It's Prime
Pretending.)

though I
haven't seen
it in a while.

(nor felt
the Powers
of it's
Mending.)

it seems
to bear A
Certain Style!!

(Death's Odd
Charm Now
Never-Ending.)

+++

spare not
your hateful
Love My
Flame..

(i'll suffer
The Lash of
Pain quite
gratefully.)

for we All
Have Secret
Shame..

And Coffin-
Ears!!

(which hear
Eternity
Whispering.)

j.stephen.h.

bartender (known as love.)

Bartender
(Known As
Love.)
++13++

he seems
familiar...

but I know
he's not
a real
person..

(I just
play one
in Society's
Mirror.)

eager
to sell pieces
of
broken- soul.

(for fake
Smiles
and
Rot Gut
Beer.)

++

Bartender
(Known
as Love.)

I am
Blue...

so..

make it
Another
Shadow..

to..

sew back
on my
Shoe..

and wash
down with
13 Shots of
give- no-
damn!!

(about
Memories of
You.)

+++

He seems
somewhat
Familiar...

(That Actor
in the Mirror.)

Smiling
For What's
Left
Of Her.

(The Only
Love
Sincere.)

j.stephen.h

(yay...)

karma meets histrionic chameleon

Karma meets
Histrionic
Chameleon.
+++++++++++++++
oh,..
red river
of
an Empty
Heart..

what
rotted
soul
still
swims
the
depths of
you?

+

emotions
numb
portrayed
in Art!

(are
any
them
true?)

++

My
love...
(who
cruelly
grins.)

a
histrionic
chameleon..

shedding
skins..

looking
for tombs
to
place her
victims in!

(and
eventually
"image"
wins.)

+++

I
Pray not
to Surface
Beauty's
Idols..

for
nothing
of
substance
stirs
within.

Nor
bother
fighting
Mindless
Rivals!!

(since
Karma
is my
Friend.)

j.s.h.

the villain of self

the villain of self.
(within this story.)
+++++++++++++++++

how
long was
the
road
this time?

and..
did you
find
your burning
ember?

your
soul burns
stronger
than mine.

(a
husk
of
frost
in bleak
December.)

lately its
hard to
pretend..

that beauty
touches
something
in me..

and holy
kisses mend.

in fact
one could
now assert
I've fallen
short of
glory!

pursuing
a road that
ends.

(the villain
of self within
this story.)

j.s.h.

the golden apple that she bloomed.

the golden apple that she bloomed.
+++++++++++++++++++++++

Her Smile was
An Open
Heart Surgery...

repairing
The
Broken Things
Within Me...

and
Love is
Forever
Sweet!

(when
Stronger
than The
Talk of
Masses
Cheap.)

+++

I heard
Miracles
when
she
Laughed..

and..

we
Danced like
Devils
in such a
way..

that even
Angels
clapped!!

(then
wiped away
The Tears of
Yesterday.)

+++

I
Sincerely
Do
Believe..

that
once you
enter
Aphrodite's
Womb..

no
Power in
Hell
could
thus
conceive

A
Permanent
Tomb!!

Nor can
Eris
sink her
Rotted
Teeth

into the
Golden Apple
that she
Bloomed!

+++

so..
my thanks
love..

for This
Open Heart
Surgery!!

(performed
by
you.)

jsh

for:Dawn.

(authors note:
For those unfamiliar
with Greek myth,
Eris is the Goddess
of strife and chaos
who according to
legend sent a golden
apple with the inscription
Kallista: (for the prettiest
one) to Helen of Troy,
which caused Other
Goddesses to grow envious
of Helen, eventually leading
to the Trojan Wars, and
Plight Of Mankind.

once dark night

one dark night.
+++++++++++

one dark
night..

(when
chaos broke loose
everywhere
else in the world)

she loved me..
and..

there was light..

shining from the
face
of A Mysterious
Girl..

who did everything
right.

we laughed at the
Shadows
who threatened our
souls
with Infinite Hell..

because..

we could take Team
Heaven
Anywhere...

(so long as there
was US.)

+++++

when the demons
in
my tortured head
filled
my heart with sad
despair,

(and sought to see
me dead)

she was There..

That Angel who
replaced
The Fiend Beneath
My Bed..

While
Banishing Monsters
with
A Stare!

(Convincing The
Villain I'd become..
to be a Hero instead.)

+++

one dark night,
(when nightmare
forces were in me
screaming)

she was there...

A Maiden of
True Love's
Delight!

but..

I was only
dreaming.

(and now Awaken
In Despair.)

j.stephen.h.

what lurks on channel self

what lurks on channel self.
+++++++++++++++++++

I open and close
my
eyes several times...

(but
nothing 
ever 
happens.)

goddamn I hate
this
channel...

The bleak
monotony 
of 
it all becomes
intolerable.

I once believed
I
was The Architect
of
An Impressive Fate..

or Author of A
Profound
Novel which
would
be inscribed upon
History's
Progressive Slate..
for
all of the world to see..

and 
it would open their
eyes
while simultaneously 
inpspiring them
to
realize 

that "We" (collectively)
are
Sincerely
The Creators of
EveryThing..!!

every
Negative Nightmare
and
Positive Dream Within
This
"Thing" called
Reality!!

(no such luck
I believe.)

+++

I often wonder..

do
People Genuinely
give 
Two Fucks?

Or..

is One fuck
enough to
kill any kind
of
Lasting Feeling
capable of
giving Hope for
something better
than the Routine
of This Machine?

the everyday bump
and 
grind/senseless chatter
about
shit that doesn't really
matter.

+++

none of it seems real
anymore
you know?

movies within movies
full 
of second rate actors..
all
hoping in vain for 15
minutes
of fame upon a world
stage
full of Other Actors sitting
in
The Senseless Audience
also
Hoping In vain to be
A
Star in This Chaotic
Universe
where Nothing Really
Shines
Anymore..

and...

I..

keep opening and closing
my
eyes several times..
but..

nothing ever happens...

nothing..

ever.

(goddamn I hate this
channel.)

j.stephen.h.

a clever device

a clever device.
+++++++++++

Be dried
my
bleeding
heart..

for what
use
is there in
metaphors

to describe?


(a
mockery of
art.)

++

brilliant fools
Be certain...
that in a world
of Madmen

I am most
Certainly the
Maddest...

and one
(of few)
able to
realize that
Sanity is a
Clever Device..

used to label
what cannot
be labeled...

as
you remain
a ghost
behind the
curtain..

depending on
a Fable!!

(to reveal your
Paradise.)

++
but
be dried
my weeping
eyes...

for what
use is
something
like a
Pearl?

(when
bullshit
will suffice.)

the martyrs path of screams.

the martyrs

path of screams.

++++++++++++

today was not an

option.

he woke up and

cursed

the sleeping
ONE.

wishing for an

ink-pen coffin.

(to conceal life's

raging sun.)

+++

beauty is in the

backroom..

where a corpse

(called love)

still sweetly smiles.

but her laughter

still

penetrates

the gloom.

(as do most

inherently evil

guiles.)

+++

why bother

with

dreams?

(the nightmare

in him tends to

question.)

or walk a

martyrs

path of

screams?!

(if all deeds

lead us in the

same direction.)

+++

because

the day

is

not an

option..

it is a

Carnival

of Good

and

Evil Voices..

with each

soul an ink-pen

writing

Coffins..!!

or..

eternity.

(depending

on Our

Choices.)

j.s.h.

in the isle of the dead

in the isle of the dead.
++++++++++++++

the shadows say i
suffer
a defect..

because my rainbow
heart
is contradictive of
a
Lizard Head...

which leaves my
Spirit
Shipwrecked!

(in the Isle of
The Dead.)

++

I watch them dance
across
the Wall...

their glowing eyes shine
hell
upon me..

and I know it's not A
Dream
at All!!

(but rather an Age of
Spirit Dawning.)

++++

the light whispers with
such
a faint voice...

that I can barely hear
it..

and faith seems not a
Mortal Choice!!

as much as trusting in
A Pit!!

(of endless Psychic
Noise.)

jsh

a maiden of death

a maiden of death.
++++13++++

I once doubted
the myth,

about that Lady
from the Sky,..

who's Ambrosia
Lips 

did plant
A Kiss,

which made
The Coldest Devil
Cry.

But now I'm
compelled to
accept,

that half of it
is True..

for there IS
indeed a
Maiden of
Death!

(who murders
with her eyes 
of blue.)

j.s.h.

once upon a timeless

once upon a timeless.
++++++++++++++

each day I
wake up
with a rage..

a rage for
nothing..

(which mimics
life)

another
self-edited
Page.

(in
History's
Play of
Strife.)

+++

I would've
slapped down
the Moon for
Her...

(once upon
a Timeless.)

and created
A Living
Multi-verse!!

(with Two
As One IN
Perfect Bliss.)

but..

She choked
upon my
verse.

(so I'll
never know
where heaven
is.)

j.s.h.

sometimes

sometimes.
+++++++++++

Sometimes,
I wish I could
pull the plugs
from their head..

and scream reason
into the brains
abyss..

to show them
how
they are Murderers.

(of all the ghosts
they miss.)

++

but sometimes I
am a hypocrite,
who see's the mass
appeal...

of choosing fantasy
bullshit.

(over the horrors
that are real.)

+++

sometimes...
I cry into the
Darkness..

wishing my tears
were seeds of light,.

that could bloom
roses for the many
Heartless.

(who've never felt
true loves delight.)

++

sometimes,
I hate the answers
I receive,

(perhaps the wall
has lied to me?)

and question truths
I should Believe!

(are all intended to
deceive?)

jsh

denying the presence

denying the presence
+++++++++++

its so hard to
find
good walls
to converse with
these
LoneSome
DaYs..

harder to defeat
the
TiMeS which
Rage...

while
living with
LoVeS Ghost.

(Who Haunts me
Always.)

+++

My Nights
are
spent
Choking on
A Fog of
Awkward
Dreams...

(that were
once Fond
Memories.)

until I drown
in an Ocean of
Screams.

(The Many
Fractures
Voices of
My Ever-Present
Enemies..)

++++
so
light your
candles
and say your
prayer...

if it truly
helps you
Love!!

and I'll
Wallow Here
Within This
Nightmare.

(denying the
presence felt
above.)

jsh

a darker place to sit

a darker place to sit.
+++++++++++++

the walls laugh mostly
because they KNOW...

my secrets can't be
scrubbed from them..


(no matter how I try.)

and they like the taste
of sorrow

because it reminds them
of
Hearts.

(just before they die.)

++++

that wasn't so bad
right?

everything stopped
before
you knew it.

like candles dancing
in the Night!

(who prefer a Darker
place to sit.)

jsh

the crash

the crash.
+++++++++++

did you contemplate
the Crash?

before every story
told about heaven

and hell flashed
before
your eyes?

(did Eternity
Laugh?)

gOd was an Optimist...
once.

(but Gave up on
MyThS like Paradise.)

j.s.h.

a tortured kind of stare

a tortured
kind
of stare.
++++++++

she just..
has
those
kind of eyes..

(so
lovely)

like
Haunted
Graveyard
Skies...

where
Morbid
Angels
weep
above me.

(Mourning
The Loss
of
Paradise.)

+++

I've seen
her in
Moonless
Dreams...

The Only
Star
capable
of

Shining
Into
Me,

and ..

banishing
HaTeFul
Phantom
Screams!!

(which
destroy
My Soul's
Tranquility.)

+++

she
just...

has
A
Tortured
Kind of
Stare..

that..

Cut's
The
Beating
Heart
In Me..

My
Lovely
Angel
Unaware!

(who Holds
The Key To
Destiny.)

j.stephen.h.










.

a letter fogerty

a letter to fogerty.
+++++++++++++++

yes
john..

i've..

seen
the
rain..

and
raised my
head ..

for it's
nails to
fall upon...

or strike me
dead.

(with pain.)

+

but
I must
admit..

(heart-
stricken
with
Misery)

that..

The
Midnight
Special

has..

never cast
it's light
upon me...

(nor set
my spirit
free.)

j.stephen.h.

the unmoved mover.

The Unmoved 
Mover.
+++++13++++++

Why is 
Inspiration
so Un-moving 
now...?

As if the
Un-moved
Mover cast 
A Curse.

(upon My
Hateful
Brow.)

+

I fret away
the Lonesome
Nights..

A Tragic
Monster Sad
At Heart..

Or 
Rebellious
Deer

(who Craves
Death's
Headlights)

wallowing
in The 
Restless
Dark..

Without 
Her
Here!

(to show 
me Loves 
Delight.)

++

The 
Un-moved
Mover

has
left me
Here..

(To Ponder
Life's 
Obscurity.)

and likely
Showers in
My Tears.

(then turns
it's Careless
Back on Me.)

+++

I pace 
away The
Spiteful
Morning...

(A 
Madman
seeking 
Sanity's
Audience.)

Sunless 
Head
Within 
Me
Storming!!!!

(craving
The Reapers
Permanence.)

j.stephen.h.

the observation of lizard brain

The Observation
of Lizard Brain.
++++13++++++

what Heart
Puke
I with Soul-Sick
Fury?

(passion's ugly
evil twin.)

Lizard-Brain
says:

" do not
worry."

(between the
Two i cannot
Win.)

+

Reason
was buried
in it's
Tomb..

My..

Corrupted
Circle's
Bleakest
Megalith..

Where
Love is Born
in A Spider-
Womb!!!!

(and Time
The Razor I
Cut My Throat
With.)

++

What
"Rage"
Puke I
with
Soulless
Fury?..

(A
Frowning
Angel's
Hellish
Counterpart.)

Lizard Brain
says:

"do not
Worry!!"


(it's easier
Without A
Heart.)

j.s.h.

suited best for hearses

suited best for hearses.
+++++++++++++++

What would
I be without
My Enemy?

a..

Dog Of
Misery
wandering
lone!

(snorting
lines
of memory.)

+

the
Possibility
left
me weak..

when..

a renegade
angel opened
the door..

and kissed
my
devil cheek..

but
I can't
feel it
anymore!!

nor do I
feel the need
to speak.

(silence won
the hearts bleak
war.)

+++

what would
I be without
my verses?

this

blank man
standing on
life's jagged
cliff..

staring
into
a Sea of
Curses..

while
lamenting
a world of
shit.

(suited best
for Hearses.)

the wrong side of the tracks

The Wrong Side
Of The Tracks.
+++13+++

He isn't from
The Wrong
Side of the
tracks..

merely
A Hermit
Wandering
lonely in the
Center of
them..

forever
pursuing
A Smiling
Face.

( Always
out of Reach
for Him.)

++

"The
Sun has
burnt
me..

burnt me!"

(he
exclaims.)

"so
moonlight
must
suffice."

"and it
hangs
from
strings
more
sturdy..!"

(Than That
Noose of
Paradise.)

++

He has no
destination
in mind.

(Such fickle
notions
such as Truth
his Weary
Heart Abandons.)

"seek not
and you will
find!!"

(all things go
the way
of Phantoms.)

++

He isn't from the
wrong
side
of the Tracks...

but..

rather walks
The Crooked
Center of Them,..

and
there is
no
turning back!

(for
The Road
to Hell Was
Paved
by Him.)

j.stephen.h.

in the dimlit desert desert of my dreams

in the dim lit
desert
of my dreams.
++++++++++

In the Dim lit
Desert of My
Dreams,

I met a
Wandering
Shadow Man
who's
smile ate the
Stars..

His Eyes Bled
Undead Memories.

(which seemed to
open up Old Scars.)

"I wouldn't tarry
here for long."

The Shadow
whispered lightly..

His
voice resembling
Siren Songs.

(which crept like
Madness deep inside
me.)

"Nor taste that wilted
Eros-flower others
Fools have tasted,
for it stains the mind
and leaves it Soured!"

(till the Hours of
Love grow Wasted.)

+++

then
I woke up
choking on my
Heart,

trying to make
sense of all I
had seen..

but the Mirror
Ripped my Soul
Apart!!

(once I realized
the shadow
man Was ME.)

j.stephen.h.

dead clock mocking

why does
the
DeAd ClOcK
mock me
so?

when..

my
CoLd
HeArT mourns
with it..

the
days gone
by,..

and Faces
in Dreams
Sallow!

(stained by
disillusionment.)

a memo for the class

remember class..
+++++++++++++

you're only delusional
if the voices
​​​​​​​think you're
crazier than those sad
deluded few ..

who cannot see the
Truth.

(that The World has
lied to you.)

+

why must we
write
such fictions
on
the walls of our
hearts ?

(with
crayons made of
so much "shit".)

only to see them
torn apart!!

(by an Angels
Razor-Lips.)

++

i loath you
and your fickle
normalcy..

which bears
the rotted smell...

of a posers
ill-conformity!!

(Revealing
Inner Hell.)

+++

I
(for Two)
Am Not
Deluded...

see...
My Voices
do Agree,.!!

that Truth
(by Man)
has been
polluted..

and
Life Lies
to YOU!!

(while
Death Smiles
At Me.)

j.s.h.

no heart revived by necromancers

No Heart Revived
By Necromancers.
++++++++++++++++

Whiskey Bottles
littering a
pinesol-piss-stained
floor..

set the theme for
"Nevermore."

but you thought
I
was beautiful love!!

(lying broken on
the floor.)

+++

my..

"happy-
cuts"..

they
were not so
superficial
right?

but
I..

wrote
mockeries
of love
upon
the Wall

For
Sluts!

(then finger-
painted
through The
Night.)

+++

and no
Love's
knocking on the
door..

should
I..

sober up enough
to
Answer?

Quoth The
Drunkard:

"Nevermore!!"

(NO Heart
 Revived
By Necromancers.)

j.s.h.

a love once in me gone

a love once in me gone.
+++++++++++++++

she spoke 
of 
Hateful
Demons..

(like a 
Prophet 
in The
Know.)

but ..
there are
so Many 
Simple
Reasons!

(that Her 
Smile Does
Not Glow.)

+++

Lonely is
This Loveless
Dawn..

yet..

I know 
now what
it's For..

A 
Battlefield
to Tread 
Upon..

while 
Waging
Heartless
War!!!!

(Against A
Love Once In
Me Gone.)

j.s.h.

whispers in the gloom

WhIsPeRs In ThE gLoOm.
+++++13+++++++++++

his screams would 
seem a
pitiable symphony ..
to an Ignorant,
Untrained Ear...

but..
I Know The Monster
Very Well...

how he relished 
his Victims Fear!

(and brought her
undue Hell.)

+++

I Dance around the
dimlit-room..

A Lonely Madman's 
Serenade.

compelled by Whispers
In The Gloom!!

(To Become An Artist 
Of
The Blade.)

+++

His Crimson 
Frown seems 
rather suiting..

so I shed an Odd 
Half-Happy Smile...

content to be the One
Abusing!

(an unrepentant 
pedophile.)

+++

His Death would 
seem
a Pitiable Tragedy..

 to 
an ignorant,
untrained Ear...

but I Knew The
Heartless Monster
Well....

(and he didn't
need to be here.)

jsh

a bitter pill

a bitter pill.
++++++++

Love...
t'is a
Bitter pill
to swallow..

but..
my Favorite
Drug!

(regardless
that it leaves
me hollow.)

i've..
slit my
wrists

on angel
wings..

and..

saw heaven
once,

if only
fleetingly.

laughing
maniacally
from My
Crucifix!!!

(it's how I
Cope With
Suffering.)

j.s.h.

loves hangover

loves hangover.
++++++++++

27 shots of
whiskey 10
beers and 8
pain killers
later...

(checks
heartbeat.)

yep...
I
still love her...

the fable of my
racing pulse
suggests
it must be so.

what else could
explain the opposition
I have felt of late?

the War I've
waged on shadows!!

I never would have

thought Cupid could

be such a Tragic Comedian..

inciting the laughter of

his audience,

until they drown themselves

in Tears.

The Medium is the Mass,

and the Mass Feeds The

Medium!!

(i've suspected this for

years.)

it's the hangover I 

hate...

the ..

waking up without

a heart lamenting the

high she gave me...

ever

so fleetingly..

but

My Shadow assures

me it is
Fate!!

and yes,
I may die

Lonely.

(but will do

so laughing.)

XIII

untitled ranting: On Romance

untitled ranting on romance.
++++++++++++++++++++

dont get me wrong...
i love a good sap poem..
but few accounts of
love strike me as realistic
because they scarcely
reveal The Dark...

the truth how love is
often a junkie sticking
it's needle in your heart.

then of course you have
your "romantic scholars"...

you know the type.

the ones who sit around
Defining what "true love"
is, until they get others
drawn into the pop cultural
hype..

star raped minds dreaming
of elusive heavens and fields
of flowers.( denying the reality
Of Constant NIGHT.)
I could truly Hate Them All
For Hours!!

yet,..
I won't be bold enough to
assert that Chivalry is Dead..
just..
honest enough to suggest
that it likely never existed
outside of some drunken
poets idealistic head..

none live up to the myths
they make of themselves...
they simply keep loving in
spite the pain...
in search of those wonderful
heavens.

(regardless that their heart
often leads them straight
to hell.)

j.s.h.
++++++++++++++++++++++

i eat this cancer full of hope

the screaming
of life's nightmare
++++++++++++

Come
Brethren...

and
lend
me Deaf
ears..

As
I speak
in The Voice
of
Children
Lost.


(drowning
in Life's
Endless Tears.)

Lo,
Surely
God
is
Sleeping!!

(and
My
Words Create
His
Nightmares.)

+

How
can
Love
still
seek to
be
Happy?

After
painting
The
Hearts
Paper
Walls
In
Tragedy?!

I eat
This
Cancer
full of
Hope!

(and it
may provide
The
Remedy.)

+++

come
brethren...

lend me
a deaf
ear...

for
my soul
craves the
voice of
Heaven!!!

(to sooth
the Screaming
of Life's
Nightmare.)

j.s.h.

the source of your own despair

the source of
your own despair.
+++++++++++++

(pouring
Dead-Wine.)
yes..yes..
we all know
by now
nothing in life
is true..

shall we
celebrate
our sanity's
decline?

perhaps
give
toast to
spirits?

(who never
spoke to
you.)

forgive me
if I do not
applaud,

a Madcap
Guru,

with no
more
links to
GOD,

than I have
with
Timbuktu.

but It's time
to take delusion
by the Hair,

and realize
the Only Thing
"true"

is that YOU
are the source
of your own
despair.

j.s.h.

nicotine kisses

Nicotine Kisses.
+++13++++

My Head carries
The Stain of Nicotine
Kisses,..

(as memorable
as
The Dead She
Misses.)

Scream away
This
Tragic Night My
Love!!

(and
weep for
Angels
on Their
Crucifixes.)

+

I can't burn
her
image from my
eyes...

(nor sleep
a broken
second without her
here.)

what happened
dear
to Our Sweet
 Paradise?!!

(t'was caught
in
a flood of Crimson
Tears.)

++

now
Hateful Days
leave
Meaning hard to
find.

as I sit up
Restless
to prepare,

ways to comfort
those
i'll leave behind!

(as I wander
 towards
another nightmare.)

jsh

chaos wrought in feeling

chaos wrought in feeling.
++++++++++++++++++

Sometimes (when I
manage to Sleep)
Dreams of you Dance
in My Head like
Whispers From The
Deep..

and I wake up
Wishing
My Heart Wasn't
Dead.

(but Love
Sows More Than
The Mind Can
Reap.)

+

I Lie To Myself
more than I ever
did to you...

and
it brings
enough comfort
to prevent My
Soul from
reeling..

Lo..

Never TO
thyself
Be True!

(because there
is Chaos wrought
in Feeling.)

a google kind of love

a google kind
of love.
++++++++

alas..t'was
the Perfect
Dream...

she:

an angel in
the dark.

I:

(Words on a
Screen.)

such love is
capable of becoming
Anything really...

a...

living literary
device constructed
by

breathing corpses in
Life's
Vast Machine.

+++

Perhaps I could
Google the answer
as to Why I Am
This Thing?

I imagine there
would be 666,000
answers provided
in a fuckin millisecond
and they would ALL
revolve around my
Personal Suffering...

my...

inability to
find comfort in this
Bag of Skin...!!!!

no wonder I
melted our bubble
gum machine wedding
ring.

(and let the darkness
win.)

++++

Tonight I'm rewriting
the Myth of Us to be
more conducive to that
Mysterious-Truth you seem
to embrace like it will
provide you some particular
meaning that is meaningful
only to that Sad Thing weeping
Rainbows in your Soul...

and perhaps it will be better
this time?

(or perhaps my pen will
dig another hole....)

jsh

(i was,,,
bored and
trying new
things.

to paraphrase
thomas edison.

(who was better
providing noteworthy
quotes than he
was at stealing Teslas
shit and passin it off
as his own)

sometimes we
prosper...
other times we
cease to
succeed.

but no one fails
unless they
quit trying....