The Lighthouse Giant

 The Giant 

stood 

guard by 

the 

Light-house;

as 

Gulls screamed

Murder

At 

The Sky.

Stars

Bled

From Heaven's

Mouth!

(and

Angels layed

down

Their Golden

Wings

To Die.)

 My mind hungers love, to eat the sunshine of your smile;

and see reborn that morning dove!

(My soul has not envisioned for a while.)

When midnight leaves me feeling

Heartless,

and

Moonlight seems a beggars myth.

Your eyes shall pull me from the

Darkness.

(and save me with a 

Kiss.)

+

Such a fickle thing as destiny

 Such Fickle 

Things as Destiny.

+++++++++++++

What's the matter

Dear heart?...

Have the walls bled 

out?

Are you...

Running out of 

symbols?

Last night I fed

My 

Tears to wolves of

Prey

Who forgot the taste

Of love.

(and puked their 

Bestial

Souls upon The Floor

Of

Yesterday.)

+

The clock is such 

A

Menace.

(It used to be 

My 

Friend.)

Every hour is 

A

Threat to Me now.

(which taunts me 

with

The End.)

+

What's the matter 

Dear Hate?

Do your eyes no 

Longer 

Bleed for me?

Feast your feeble

Mind

Upon the Hell I shall

Create!

Without one shred 

Of

Belief.

(in such fickle 

Things

As destiny.)

J.stephen.h

The bullseye ends with ME.

 Hope can be a dangerous

Thing

To feed starving souls for

Breakfast;

Especially when seasoned 

with

The Salt of Irony, and left on

A

Burner of Dark Thoughts for too Long.

Would you offer a Shadow 

mere

Pieces of itself?

(don't tell me Love is wrong.)

+

Follow me my sweet ...

Beyond

The Simple 

Bounds

of

Lusts Bullet- trajectory.

You've certainly hit your 

Mark

This Time.

(but the bullseye ends with 

Me)

to.be continued

half-past-timeless

Half-past-timeless.

+++++++++++++

I sat up last night 

till 

Half-past-timeless,..

counting shadow- sheep

Who's

bleats were lions roars;

wondering if she loves 

Me

Less or More.. 

than the 

eternity

in which

She loved me 

Once before.

+

but there is no 

resolution..

or 

Solution.. 

to The Mystery

which

plagues my soul ..

+

and even 

now 

(in the eternity of my death) 

i 

am haunted by the cruel 

reminder 

i 

am little more than a fucking 

ghost.

(too dead within to 

even be 

a

Memory.)

J.s.h.

Houses of the Holy

Houses 

Of The

Holy.

++++++

I listen 

Respectfully

In

Houses of The 

HoLy;

but,

Truth is Bleak..

And,..

I'm Not LiKe 

tHeM!

Most 

Of

ReaLity

is

NoT 

woRth 

KnowiNg!!!

(Keep dear sir

Your

ThorNy DiaDeMs.)

+

OtheRs 

Tend to looK

iNsIdE mE...

(CoLd

EyEs

DepiCtiNg

PanTomiMes)

TryiNg

To SoLvE

THe

MysTerY!

(oF

A

MaN coNsumEd

bY

HaunTeD

RhyMeS.)

+

In mY

ShAdowS HouSe

aRe

CruMbLinG

mAnSioNs;

(  thoSe

ONcE PrOuD

StRucTuReS

bUilT

bY tHoUgHt.)

depRiVeD

oF

MoDeRnisT

eXpAnSiOnS!

(ReduCed 

To

CoLd

EtErNaL

rOt.)

+

The doomed fish

The doomed fish.

+++++++++++++

Days ago I said

Goodbye to sleep

because my dreams

exhaust me

and 

I trust em even less

than

this Current Waking

State

Where 

Angels stand on street

Corners

legs open and

Smokes

Dangling from their 

ever-

-Snarling- Lips of

Misplaced 

Hate

(I loved them all but

could

Never afford one)

I'm sad alot but 

never

knew what happy was

and maybe

that's

the real tragedy in

all 

This cluster-fuck

Damn

No wonder my only

Friend

Never bothers to punctuate

what's the point?

If others can't read 

Between

The blurred lines they

were

doomed from the start any

way

Because if you can't draw 

your

Own Conclusions most

will

quickly conclude you're

not 

worth the effort 

and 

never

Deserved

Any

Of

Those

Angels 

who slay

The

Beasts chomping 

on 

your

Histrionic Heart

+

(Five days later and 

I'm

Clinging to consciousness

like

A doomed fish wallowing

on

A beach 

drowning 

In his

own 

Fish bullshit

STILL

Trying to 

remember!!

(If those fuckin

Angels 

Ever smiled.)

Jsh

Grave flowers

Grave Flowers.

+++++++

Tonight my love

Your

Eyes are Grave-Flowers,

Growing 

On the Tombstone

Of

My Heart;

(Here lies a 

Tortured Soul.)

But

can you resurrect

The

Dead Dreaming

In

My Broken Head?

Or do such voices

Live

On only in memories?

(Which shall forever

Torture Me.)

J.s.h.

Misfit Hearts

A land of

Misfit Hearts.

+++++++++++++

This is why 

you

Never give 

your

Love away.

When you come 

from

A

Land of Misfit 

Hearts.

(and soulless 

renegades.)

Look (my flame)

A

Razorblade!!

My spirit now

departs...

(and you've cut 

The 

Smiles away.)

Thrice more to the lake New love

Thrice more to

The Lake New Love!

+++++++++++++

My heart felt 

Small,

Yet swollen.

And 

Though Kisses

shouldn't

Be

A declaration 

of

Ownership,

Her

Lips owned me

there

On that beautifully

Desolate

Lake of Dreams

where

Countless Other 

Souls

Had kissed ..

Before

being 

owned by a pair

of

Perfect Eyes which

stare...

into the deepest parts

of

A soul.

( now increasingly 

brightened

by an awkward 

and

Uncertain Smile.)

So..

Thrice

more to 

The

Lake New

Love!

( For once could

never be enough.)

J.Stephen.h

Ikonoklast

Ikonoklast.

+++++++++++++

Someone needs to

break

Your foolish idols;

It's

Better to 

Live

a painful 

Truth

than

Suffer your

Pretty

Lie

after all.

+

Do you know

Who

You are? 

Or

do they decide 

for 

you?

There 

is a 

Death

By

Chocolate 

Afterglow

Hidden

in 

Your 

Animal 

Lust!;

and

Yet

You're foolish enough

To

Believe

that angels

Flap 

their wings

and 

Wait for thee?!

(By Loves 

Eternal

Spring.)

+

I'll be considered

A

Tyrant,

sitting 

in 

his 

Cynical Tower

Of

Subjective Reason.

(Making

War with idols 

long deemed

Foolish)

but,

Tis better 

To 

Die

My Painful

Truth!

(Than Live

Loves

Beautiful Lie.)

J.stephen.h.

A rainbow after the storm

A Rainbow
after The Storm
+++++++++++++

When
i saw 
You spot
a
​​​​​​Rainbow
after
The storm,..

I couldnt help
but
Wonder,

which of those
Clouds
You Fell From.

And
I 
immediately
thought
Myself
A devil!

Because
At that moment
I would have
readily sold my
Soul...

(for a kiss.)

J.stephen.h

The party must go on.

The party must

Go On.

+++++++++++++

Fuck you all,

When

My Corpse cools;

The party must

go on.

I

was

Never a stud,

or

Belle of The Ball!

(but surely

Victim

of The Dawn.)

+

and

It's never very

far,

To wander.

If you plan

on

Meeting Your End.

Yet

Death is 

A

Stranger 

few

dare ponder!!

( fewer 

still

Declare

Him 

Friend.)

+

Fuck you all..

when 

My corpse chills;

just

Toss it out

on

The Lawn.

For Love is

a

Drug that always

Kills!!

still...

(The Party must

go on.)

J.Stephen.H

You know life's fucked

You know 

Life's

Fucked when..

you start speaking

of

Yourself in The Past

Tense;

Like a Old Acquaintance

Who's

Passing was so sad you

feel

compelled to tell sick

jokes

about it. 

(to conceal the 

Sorrows

In Your Heart.)

Why did the ghost cross

The road?! 

(When there is no Otherside.)

+

You know life's fucked...

When

People seem like robots

Created 

By A Cruel Inventor who

(In Loneliness)

Wanted to be loved so bad

He 

Created toys to punish if they

Refuse 

To throw him accolades.

(and nobody ever seems to want

A 

"Jeremy in The Box".)

+

You know life's fucked....

When those shadows in you

seem 

to be the only ones who understand

The

Darkness raging in your head...

As 

You rant ceaselessly at stars

that

became a pile of rocks

burning 

in some pointless sky.

(until you wish that GHOSTS

could die...)

Jsh

Revisions

Ah!

I Have

Revisions of Old 

Visions

that my soul sees 

in reverse;

Till My Head 

Feels

Like A prison! 

And This

Life?? 

(an Endless 

Curse.)

I've dared

before to

Contemplate,

The

Meaning of

Our

End,

and

Question Higher

Forms

Of Fate!!

(But

is

Death My

Only

Friend?)

+

Oh,

I 

Have Memories

Of

Old memories,

(which My Dark

Eyes

Dream Anew)

and shall 

Sever

The Midnight 

Enemies!!

(till their 

Heart's

are Torn Into.)

+

ah,

these Revisions

of

Old Visions that

My

Mind Plays 

On

Repeat,

As 

I Stand Here

The jokes of heaven

  The jOkeS

oF

hEaVeN.

+++++++++++++

This morning the sky is

A Dead Man's Joke Heaven 

keeps

telling itself,... but only 

heaven

laughs these days.

And I'm sure some (if not

most) are utterly offended 

by that.

So...

Who votes to change 

Heavens 

Once 

Eternal Name??

Come gang!

Let us tear down these

angelic

Neon Signs ,

and erect monuments 

to

more somber themes

which

best illustrate 

these 

trying times!

Perhaps the 

angels will not

mind? 

( but if they do 

who cares about 

the 

gripes of a dying 

minority?)

+

I sit now 

(as the Hapless 

Punchline)

contemplating 

my semi-fated- state

of being-that has-

never-

fuckin-been.

What am I boss?

And what do I do 

to ease the 

Burdens

of This-Ever-

Painful-Thing?

Brothers Head 

Ate A Tragic

Bullets Heated 

Smile..!!!

but...

when in Rome?  

(I'll Be Greek.)

+

night is coming fast.. 

like

an unstoppable 

force racing 

Towards the days' 

immovable

Object;

And Love is a clown 

that can't

Stop cutting herself 

to feel something 

less 

intense than 

Cold

Mental Wounds 

That

Never Heal .

+

I

used to feed her tears..

but her tolerance lately

is so advanced 

it's impossible to attain

the same buzz;

Let's go love..

and

we'll switch to 

something 

stronger!

(Perhaps

The sound 

of broken glass

with A Chorus sang 

by 

Hateful Mourning 

Doves?)

+

Well....Shit..

Where did the

Morning go?

Moonlight broke 

The 

Dawn's Bleak 

Countenance ,

and everyone 

is 

offended now...

Because They 

Never 

Understood

The Jokes of 

Heaven!!!!!

(that it tells 

to 

all it's "Selves".)

J.Stephen.H

Heart Scars

Heart scars.

+++++++++++++

My Heart Scars

Itch

With memories

Tonight;

A

Vision of your

Face.

(Damn it's

Still

A sight.)

My 

Fallen Angel

Who

Kept Grace!!!

(Despite 

Her

Fading.

Light)

+

These 

Centuries..

.

they've been kind

to you;

(You haven't

Aged

A Single Year.)

But 

There's Madness

in

such Solitude!!

(which 

robs 

the

Soul 

of

Cheer.)

+

I 

Wish our

Love

could rewrite

History.

 (I'd change it

All

but that Sweet

Kiss.)

Yet

Everyone prefers

A

Mystery!!!

( How could it

End

Like This?)

+

Yes...

My Heart Weeps

Blacke

Tears Tonight;

 (Lost 

in

Memories 

Of 

Your

Face.)

and

Nothing in This

Life 

seems Right!!!

(Without 

Her Fallen

Grace.)

J.s.h.

Devil may care

Devil may care.

+++++++!+!!++++

Devil may care?

(Right.)

Rest assured that..

He 

Still Loves them 

All;

And sits 

up 

weeping

At

Night.

Writing the names

Of

Heaven's Angels. 

(across

Hell's

Fiery Wall.)

+

He seldom finds

The

Time to Sleep.

( and if so

Awakens

With A Scream.)

For there is

A

Secret He Must

Keep!

(That Life is 

But

A Cruel God's

Dream.)

+

Devil May 

Cry?

Yes..

Such odds

are

More Probable.

Imagine...

Being A Thing

Which

Doesn't Die!!

(who's rebellion

made

Humanity Possible.)

JSH

Old scars left by the enemy

Old Scars Left

By The Enemy.

+++++++++++++

The sky is 

raining it's heavenly ass off here;

and the birds shriek

Ceaselessly.

As if the End is drawing Near!

(what have these devils done to me?)

And love (true love) 

is a fairytale ,

told to children now 

Born Old.

To mask The Truth of

Death and Hell!

(which leaves our Spirit in the cold.)

++++

But...

My Life shall

 be continued.

If the world doesn't 

End;

and...

I can

find it in

Me,

To seek an 

angels

Balm that mends!

(Old Scars left by

By The Enemy.)

If you ever wish to know

If you ever 

Wish To Know.

+++++++++++++

If you ever

Wish To Know...

how

many pieces of

her

Heart Remain...

I can tell you.

I've counted them

All.

They are numbered

with

Her Tears and drowning

in

The Floods Your Torment

Left.

+

Have YOU ever had a

Sleepless

Night?

Spent wondering what

wrongs 

You could have done?

To chase love from

Your phantom sight?!

(and murder countless

splendid sun's?)

+ 

You sir , 

are

A

Shadow Donning

Some

Candles' Smile.

But..

Soon the people all will

KNOW.

About The Angel you

Defiled!

( and filled with

Endless sorrow.)

+

And..

If you had 

listened

To the Words she 

spoke...

you would

Know that Love

Is

Salvation Grand!

and

 Beg Penance 

For

The Heart You

Broke!!

(The One 

I 

Hold Now in 

My 

Hand.)

J.Stephen.H.

(Galatians 6:7)

the nooses in your eyes

the nooses in
your eyes.
+++++++++++++

yes
love..

i
Hang
limply
from
the
nooses
in
your eyes;


(though
they
executed
truth
and
fed
me lies.)

and
here i
am
believing
in
Your Hell!!!

(that
you confused
with
Paradise.)

+

27
down

and
countless to
go;

it's
my cure...

(which
eases sorrow)

allowing
me
to thus
endure!

(the
Monster
of
Tomorrow.)

+

will
anyone
(here)

cut
me down
from
you?

when
i
can
no
longer


shed
a
single
tear!!!!??

(and
nothing
left
seems
True.)

+

yes
LoVe,

i'm
still
hanging

from
the nooses
in
Your Eyes;

(and
likely always
will.)

Because
Life's Hell

replaced

my
Paradise!

(and
now
Haunts
the
Heaven
that
You
Killed.)

jsh

steiners ode to Something Higher

If we do not believe within ourselves 
this deeply rooted feeling that there 
is something higher than ourselves, 
we shall never find the strength to 
evolve into something higher.

-rudolph steiner-

____________________________

ode to something 
higher.
+++++++++++++
it started as a simple seed..
before 
the Fated Reckoning;

when
first I felt the need..
to

"be" the Art My Soul was
making.

+

but
Steiner did not weep for
me,

because 
he knew (or felt) 
wholeheartedly,

that
soon upon my next demise,
I
would REALIZE

Eternity!

( with a heart
no longer
breaking.)

+

I wander through Life's
Forest now,

(which began as but
a 
seed.)

refusing thus to ever
bow!!

(to the demons that
I 
Feed.)

j.s.h.

(quote source: rudolph steiner.)

the haunted house of mirth

the haunted house of mirth.
    +++++++++++++

there are
two fools butting
heads
in The Haunted
House
of Mirth;

but
who's
skull shall crack
first,

and spill
thoughts
which inspire?

(A New
Generation
Cursed.)

+

hold tight love,
and
break the stare;

or
banish me alongside
other
idiots who dare...

to challenge
the
Midnight of
Your
Glare!

+

kids these
days...

(shaped
by
the older
ways
of
fleeting
moments
gone.)

will
they ever
understand?!

what it
means
to
Raise The
Dawn!!

or praise the
idols
of Former
Times.

(before
sharpening
the
stakes
their Heads
are
placed upon.)

+

two fools clash
heads
in the House of
The
Heartless;

but who's
shall crack
first?

The Lonely,
Hateful
Renegade
Artist?!

(or
Wanderer Born
Cursed.)

Eternal six packs

eternal six-packs
+++++++++++++

He was pretty
Stoic
about The Whole
Damn
Thing.

Slammed
the
Pretty Coffin
shut,

lit a
smoke,

and walked
away.

(lip
snarled
around
a

silent plea
for
Help.)

+

later,..

They found
him
face down
on

a
Pillow smeared
with

Midnight's Final
Snack;

eyes closed
against
The Dream of
Life.

(focused on
Eternal
Six-Packs.)

+

The soul as novelist

    The Soul.
   (as Novelist.)
+++++++++++++

The entirety of My Frame
consists of Prison-Junk
Tattoos, a wealth of Scars,
and various Self-Mutilation
marks. (or "razor painted
smiles" as I call them during
more romantic minded
moments.)

So it's understandable that
the casual, outside-observer
would assume that my body
is a broken temple, and I Mentally
Worship In The House of Pain.
(but rather than holding these
assumptions against them, I
use it to my own advantage.)

+

(for me) everything revolving
around The Human Condition
seems to come with A Story, or
clever series of backstories
composed by the Author of Self
to conceal the less preferred
realities of their Truer Tale.
and damn what a fascinating thing
it is!

+

to think: each day the soul (as
Novelist) is actively engaging
with Other Novelists towards
the construction of an Ever-Living,
Progressive Script.
(and due to the influence of Outside
Actors, each soul we meet becomes
a Fellow Co-Author of Our Living
Novel, by varying degrees and capacities.)

+

That being said, I invite you (Odd Reader)
to consider what lies beneath the temporal
frames exterior, (whether it be a Broken Temple,
or profoundly beautiful piece of architectural
wonder seemingly flawless by design)
and pay closer attention to the words and deeds
of those around you.

(For those observations are what will help
guide you in determining who you choose
to Share The Novel of Your Life with.)

Chapter one: cogito ergo sum?

+++++++++

What form of forms?

What form of forms?

++++++++++++++

oh restless
life;

what form
of
forms clutches
me
Inside?

(yet never
shakes
it's fist at the
world.)

+

how
thin the thread
of

Destiny I hang
from!!;

and
could i ever
cut

the string?

+

Banish Me
Now

from that
Hateful Kingdom!



(for death seems
sweeter
than
Suffering.)

+

what talent does
my
Soul Reveal?

(that embryonic
ball
of Impossible
Possibilities.)

when
there is little
(next
to No)
Appeal!

(in the
shadow forms
that stir within
me.)

J.S.H.

a shadow audience who condemsns.

she stands in front

of

the

dirty mirror...

(scissors in hand)

staring into

Infinite

Space and

thinking:

"isn't life grand?!!"

( as tears pour

down her face.)

+

then

hair falls like Marionettes

who's

strings were cut

By

Cruel Masters who abandon

them;

and

she screams out:

" I am Not a

Slut!!"

(at

A Shadow Audience

Who

Condemns.)

+

Sweet ghost of yesterday's memory

sweet ghost of

yesterdays memory.

+++++++++++++

Oh Sweet Ghost

Of

Yesterday's Memory!

You laughed so

much

(in former days) that

All

Of Life Laughed With
You,

as you gave
Into God

His much
Due

Praise!

( for taking
You
Off The Devil's

Menu.)

+

so

What Silent Whisper

(Then)

Became A Restless

Angel's Haunted

Scream?

oh,

I Can't Remember

How (or when) Those

Nightmare Phantoms

Ate Her Dreams!!

(and it's Happening Again.) +

My

Love,..

do you watch

from

Stars

That Tell

A

Secret

Buried

In

The Grave

of

Night?

and

if they told you

would

you keep

it? (or

share with

Others

it's

Delight?)