explanation of a process

an explanation
of a process.
++++++13+++++++

The process is automatic...
Phantoms of Subconscious
Lunacy seeking SaNiTy
through the imitation
of un-felt impressions,
gathered
from some Time when youth
was white and pure.

I like to capitalize upon
Words which inspire feeling..
breaking slight grammatical
rules,
yet increasing the likeliness
that the importance of my
ranting will stand out in the
Meaningful Emotions
I Scribble Between
Symbolic Nonsense.

If A Man Can Wear 1,000
Masks, then surely he can
write from the Perspective
of them all..
capturing the essence of his
world,
(the Perfection and the Flaws..)
Before Making the Horror of
it all seem Pretty.

+

I've always admired Tortured
Heroes, who constantly second
guess the Nobility of Their
Actions, yet Ultimately Save The
Day From Themselves.

or The Shadow Man who finds
a light shining in The Mystery
of an Unlikely Candle, which
teaches him that the darkness he
feared was His Own Rebellion
Against An Inner Rainbow.

And

I hope when you read these
words that you and I are Dancing
with Skeletons together..
stuffing our thoughts in That
Universal Closet,
forever looking for new ways.

(to redefine a Process.)

banished from your angel sight

banished from your angel sight.
________________________

That sharp Pain?
Yeah..
it's your Heart
telling you not
to do a Thing..
but you're going
to do it anyway
aren't you?
Rebelling against
The Life you seem
to simultaneously
Love, and Hate,
and crave...
(till your soul
regurgitates an
infinite series of
Wandering Graves.)

I've always seen
the places you talk
about,

that place in dreams
filled with amazing
electricity,

where you never
feel Alone or Scared!

(It's The Home
I Call Nightmare.)
++++

Oh Love,
could you take
me to Your
Sacred Where?
And sew shut
with stitching
Kisses This Empty
Inner Lair?!

(DO you want
Me To Be
There?)

++++

The Pain in
My Heart is
A Shadow
Wandering
Towards The
Only Light
capable of
Showing it
Loves Delight!

and this sharp
Pain Tells me
you were right!..

which is why
I'm Alone
Tonight...!!!

(Banished
from Your
Angel Sight.)

kiss the dark away

kiss the dark away.
_______________

It's you I show my
heart to you know.
(and I've never been
called beautiful.)
I've always lived
Lives of Sorrow.
(waiting on My Next
Funeral.)

Odd what some
Believe about Fate
isn't it?
(yet most
see Our Reality as
superstition.)
They assume you
can't ever change
Shit.
(and No One
Mentions The
Repetition.)

I learned long
ago that all saints
are just Dead Gods
Regurgitated to
meet New Demands,
but you help me
Believe in Angels..
and wish to be a
better man.
(who's soul is not
so mangled.)

I Never Let
Go..
but if I were
able Push
You Forward
somehow..
into the Life you
Want,..
free of Sorrow,.
I would,.
and Never
Pinch My Brow
Again in Rage, if
I knew someone
Loves you Better
than I could!

You deserve The
Worlds Bellus.

(and thoughts
of you Kiss the
Dark away.)

ants on a screen. (to be continued)

Some days he can't
remember his name..
and..
he calls them "Good
Days."

Days in which the
Soul is Freed from
The Tyrant Memory..

The Great Beast of
Discontent.

Today has been a
Shadow Day.

He sees them out
of the corner of his
eyes,

Penumbras of Anti-
Light which suck away
the substance of a
Room and fill it with
Demonic Parasites
that feast upon the beating
of a heart.

He doesn't believe in
demons..

Demons are just shitty
People consumed by
greed and a desire to hurt
the things their souls
could never imitate..

awkward little energies
at the lowest level .

awkward and weak.

++++

Tonight should be another
Dream..

congregating with ants
on a screen..

looking for the queen..
hoping she notices..

throws a crumb his way
again.

(but perhaps it's better
if he doesn't remember?)

1,000 wheres

1,000 Wheres.

____________

Can you

(my friend)

see

(the end)

with Certainty?

I (at times)

have tried,

but (often)

Lack of Faith

Defeats Me.

Therefore

I (my enemy)

have dreamed

1,000 Wheres,

and (in every one)

You are There,

riding on your

Nightmare Horse..

(of GLory.)

with
Dead-Eyed

starlight in

your hair.

(forever

consuming

me.)

j.s.h

persona est veritas

persona est veritas.
+++++++++++++++

Because they cannot
admit their fears..
they are consumed
by them...
build personas to combat
the uncertainty..
study old philosophies
for hope...

yet..
in the end
I SEE
those fears,
and taste them...
roll them off my
tongue like bloody
tears..

There are few nooses
worse than Hope and
Expectation..
and The HangmEn of
This LiFe know that with
a Certainty Transcending
Faith..

yet..
I suppose we all hang
in our own stupid way..
fickle creatures that we
are..
claiming to see lights and
feel transcendence because
our rabbit minds sense the
uncertainty of our end...

i admit my fear...
and it is empowering.
I fear the mirror-man I dont
know looking at me..
the wanna-be-handsome
ugly scarred ass face
who imitates smiles to
feel a moments grace,
yet is damned by the
denial of his Absence.

when hope and certainty
fail whiskey helps..
to mask the stench of my
souls confusion until
i can semi-function enough
to see beyond the pale..
perhaps it is my noose...
my hell?...my truth?

(at least i admit it.)

j.stephen.h.

who likes an idealist anyway?

I love your roundabout
way of creating the perfect
end.

A lone man walking off
into the moonlight,

leaving his damsel behind
to fend for herself amidst
the wolves of prey.

cheers man.

(who likes an idealist
anyway?)

Will there be a sequel
for our numb-hearted
anti-hero?

Perhaps new damsels
to lead astray and
abandon?

A few scenes of
Laughing Faces
suddenly melting
like candles!!

(followed by defeat
at the hands of Your
Phantom.)

Sometimes I think you
write your life because
nothing real is interesting
to you anymore..

it's the same shit
regurgitated ad
nauseum.

(with a poppy
background
musical score.)

Either way...
loved the ending
man..

it was great.

(though I doubt
your damsel feels
the same.)

tailor made by loveless corpses

tailor made by loveless corpses.
________________________

Welcome to The
Heart,..
Where Only
Demons Enter..

and Love
remains a Candy
Coated Dream!

(with A
Nightmare
Center.)

Some prefer The
Carousel..
with it's Red Eyed
Onyx Horses...

spinning Madly
Into Hell.

(tailor-made
By Loveless
Corpses.)

It wasn't always
quite like this,
but close enough
I guess..

then Fate
came with a
Razor Kiss!

(and love left
like all the
rest.)

jsh,

trapped in yesterday

trapped in yesterday.
++++++13+++++

Will there ever
be Days Again?..
When Love Smiles
(like a friend)
into the Shadow
of My Face?

No Heart so
Bold commits
A Sin!

(without creating
equal Lights of
Grace.)

I no longer
sit staring at
her Picture,..

(creating in my
head The Happiest
Scenes.)

because Her
Memory Became
a Permanent
Fixture!

(In The
Tranquility
Of My
Dreams.)

Will there
ever be days
again?

When Love
returns to
show the way..

Back to
Where
True Love
Begins!!

(Or am
I Trapped
In Yesterday?)

j.stephen.h.

to write in fury

It's interesting to note,
the quality of art when
grief chews away the
heart..

every painful word
seems brilliant...

there are wonders waiting
in the dark..

and shadows seem
more innocent.

Many have a tendency
toward repetition and
vain attemptto imitate...

but the man in pain
throwing his tears at
the world like spears...
he is truly great..

he knows the secrets
of form,
and is wrought by
immortal fate!

(to write in fury like
a storm.)

if i die while writing this

if i die while writing this
___________________

If I die while writing
this..
remember me with a
certain fondness...
though it hurts to
reminisce...
about a man so plagued
by darkness.

weep no longer
for the hours
wasted on trivialities,
and petty hatreds..
because our lives
are like 1,000 Flowers!!
(and every Seed
is Sacred.)

Dress as you were
The Day when
Bright Stars shined
the way,
to somewhere better
than this..
and I my Love shall
do the Same.

(with a certain
fondness.)

jsh