what lurks on channel self

what lurks on channel self.
+++++++++++++++++++

I open and close
my
eyes several times...

(but
nothing 
ever 
happens.)

goddamn I hate
this
channel...

The bleak
monotony 
of 
it all becomes
intolerable.

I once believed
I
was The Architect
of
An Impressive Fate..

or Author of A
Profound
Novel which
would
be inscribed upon
History's
Progressive Slate..
for
all of the world to see..

and 
it would open their
eyes
while simultaneously 
inpspiring them
to
realize 

that "We" (collectively)
are
Sincerely
The Creators of
EveryThing..!!

every
Negative Nightmare
and
Positive Dream Within
This
"Thing" called
Reality!!

(no such luck
I believe.)

+++

I often wonder..

do
People Genuinely
give 
Two Fucks?

Or..

is One fuck
enough to
kill any kind
of
Lasting Feeling
capable of
giving Hope for
something better
than the Routine
of This Machine?

the everyday bump
and 
grind/senseless chatter
about
shit that doesn't really
matter.

+++

none of it seems real
anymore
you know?

movies within movies
full 
of second rate actors..
all
hoping in vain for 15
minutes
of fame upon a world
stage
full of Other Actors sitting
in
The Senseless Audience
also
Hoping In vain to be
A
Star in This Chaotic
Universe
where Nothing Really
Shines
Anymore..

and...

I..

keep opening and closing
my
eyes several times..
but..

nothing ever happens...

nothing..

ever.

(goddamn I hate this
channel.)

j.stephen.h.