the nooses in your eyes

the nooses in
your eyes.
+++++++++++++

yes
love..

i
Hang
limply
from
the
nooses
in
your eyes;


(though
they
executed
truth
and
fed
me lies.)

and
here i
am
believing
in
Your Hell!!!

(that
you confused
with
Paradise.)

+

27
down

and
countless to
go;

it's
my cure...

(which
eases sorrow)

allowing
me
to thus
endure!

(the
Monster
of
Tomorrow.)

+

will
anyone
(here)

cut
me down
from
you?

when
i
can
no
longer


shed
a
single
tear!!!!??

(and
nothing
left
seems
True.)

+

yes
LoVe,

i'm
still
hanging

from
the nooses
in
Your Eyes;

(and
likely always
will.)

Because
Life's Hell

replaced

my
Paradise!

(and
now
Haunts
the
Heaven
that
You
Killed.)

jsh

steiners ode to Something Higher

If we do not believe within ourselves 
this deeply rooted feeling that there 
is something higher than ourselves, 
we shall never find the strength to 
evolve into something higher.

-rudolph steiner-

____________________________

ode to something 
higher.
+++++++++++++
it started as a simple seed..
before 
the Fated Reckoning;

when
first I felt the need..
to

"be" the Art My Soul was
making.

+

but
Steiner did not weep for
me,

because 
he knew (or felt) 
wholeheartedly,

that
soon upon my next demise,
I
would REALIZE

Eternity!

( with a heart
no longer
breaking.)

+

I wander through Life's
Forest now,

(which began as but
a 
seed.)

refusing thus to ever
bow!!

(to the demons that
I 
Feed.)

j.s.h.

(quote source: rudolph steiner.)

the haunted house of mirth

the haunted house of mirth.
    +++++++++++++

there are
two fools butting
heads
in The Haunted
House
of Mirth;

but
who's
skull shall crack
first,

and spill
thoughts
which inspire?

(A New
Generation
Cursed.)

+

hold tight love,
and
break the stare;

or
banish me alongside
other
idiots who dare...

to challenge
the
Midnight of
Your
Glare!

+

kids these
days...

(shaped
by
the older
ways
of
fleeting
moments
gone.)

will
they ever
understand?!

what it
means
to
Raise The
Dawn!!

or praise the
idols
of Former
Times.

(before
sharpening
the
stakes
their Heads
are
placed upon.)

+

two fools clash
heads
in the House of
The
Heartless;

but who's
shall crack
first?

The Lonely,
Hateful
Renegade
Artist?!

(or
Wanderer Born
Cursed.)

Eternal six packs

eternal six-packs
+++++++++++++

He was pretty
Stoic
about The Whole
Damn
Thing.

Slammed
the
Pretty Coffin
shut,

lit a
smoke,

and walked
away.

(lip
snarled
around
a

silent plea
for
Help.)

+

later,..

They found
him
face down
on

a
Pillow smeared
with

Midnight's Final
Snack;

eyes closed
against
The Dream of
Life.

(focused on
Eternal
Six-Packs.)

+

The soul as novelist

    The Soul.
   (as Novelist.)
+++++++++++++

The entirety of My Frame
consists of Prison-Junk
Tattoos, a wealth of Scars,
and various Self-Mutilation
marks. (or "razor painted
smiles" as I call them during
more romantic minded
moments.)

So it's understandable that
the casual, outside-observer
would assume that my body
is a broken temple, and I Mentally
Worship In The House of Pain.
(but rather than holding these
assumptions against them, I
use it to my own advantage.)

+

(for me) everything revolving
around The Human Condition
seems to come with A Story, or
clever series of backstories
composed by the Author of Self
to conceal the less preferred
realities of their Truer Tale.
and damn what a fascinating thing
it is!

+

to think: each day the soul (as
Novelist) is actively engaging
with Other Novelists towards
the construction of an Ever-Living,
Progressive Script.
(and due to the influence of Outside
Actors, each soul we meet becomes
a Fellow Co-Author of Our Living
Novel, by varying degrees and capacities.)

+

That being said, I invite you (Odd Reader)
to consider what lies beneath the temporal
frames exterior, (whether it be a Broken Temple,
or profoundly beautiful piece of architectural
wonder seemingly flawless by design)
and pay closer attention to the words and deeds
of those around you.

(For those observations are what will help
guide you in determining who you choose
to Share The Novel of Your Life with.)

Chapter one: cogito ergo sum?

+++++++++

What form of forms?

What form of forms?

++++++++++++++

oh restless
life;

what form
of
forms clutches
me
Inside?

(yet never
shakes
it's fist at the
world.)

+

how
thin the thread
of

Destiny I hang
from!!;

and
could i ever
cut

the string?

+

Banish Me
Now

from that
Hateful Kingdom!



(for death seems
sweeter
than
Suffering.)

+

what talent does
my
Soul Reveal?

(that embryonic
ball
of Impossible
Possibilities.)

when
there is little
(next
to No)
Appeal!

(in the
shadow forms
that stir within
me.)

J.S.H.

a shadow audience who condemsns.

she stands in front

of

the

dirty mirror...

(scissors in hand)

staring into

Infinite

Space and

thinking:

"isn't life grand?!!"

( as tears pour

down her face.)

+

then

hair falls like Marionettes

who's

strings were cut

By

Cruel Masters who abandon

them;

and

she screams out:

" I am Not a

Slut!!"

(at

A Shadow Audience

Who

Condemns.)

+

Sweet ghost of yesterday's memory

sweet ghost of

yesterdays memory.

+++++++++++++

Oh Sweet Ghost

Of

Yesterday's Memory!

You laughed so

much

(in former days) that

All

Of Life Laughed With
You,

as you gave
Into God

His much
Due

Praise!

( for taking
You
Off The Devil's

Menu.)

+

so

What Silent Whisper

(Then)

Became A Restless

Angel's Haunted

Scream?

oh,

I Can't Remember

How (or when) Those

Nightmare Phantoms

Ate Her Dreams!!

(and it's Happening Again.) +

My

Love,..

do you watch

from

Stars

That Tell

A

Secret

Buried

In

The Grave

of

Night?

and

if they told you

would

you keep

it? (or

share with

Others

it's

Delight?)

another life of nightmare rhymes. ( a much-fragmented rant.)

the nature
of
necessary
beasts.

++++++++

shall you stuff
me
in another empty
box?

( ill leave
my
thoughts
outside
the
door this
time.)

and
where will
my
angel-dreams
go
Now?!!!



(Into
Another
Life
of
Nightmare
Rhymes?)

+

and,..

Concerning
The
Wicked
Violation
of
That Ever-
Fading
Dawn???

well,..

it is
the Nature
of
Necessary

Beasts
at
Times!!

(to
tread those
bloody
devil -floors

sad
angels puke
their

Hearts
upon.)

Fuck-It Smiles of Dread.

Fuck-It
Smiles of
Dread.
++++++


My
Face
Melts ...

Into

Fuck- it
Smiles
of
Endless
Dread.


(which
No One
Else
believes)

and
falls upon
Those
Shit-
Stained Floors

Life's
Countless
Ghosts Have
Tread!


(( During
Thirteen
Small
Eternities,

Within
God's
Dreaming
Head.))

+

then
i held
mock trials
while
seeking
to
prove..

(Through
Flaw
and
Endless Error)

that

Few Can Deem
A
Heart They Lose

as
Worthy of
It's
Terror!

(Nor has it
Ever Cured
A Nightmare.)



+

Some Fear
A
Thing Within
Me
Snapped,

(or
worse became
A Haunted
Stone.)

till
Angels Wept
and
Demons Clapped!

(To Celebrate
My
Life Alone.)

+




Thus
Off Must Come
The
Smiling Mask,

(and
Gone Be
The

Worst of
Sin.)

Before I feel
up
to The Task

of
Living Once
Again!

( In This Land
of
Crooked Men.)

A passenger in eternity's crimson boat

A
Passenger
On
Eternity's Crimson
Boat.
+++++++++++++

I feel
ThE
ClocK ticKing
iN
mY ThrOaT;

but
Time (that fiend!!)
shall
have no Part
of Me,..

as
A Passenger
on
Eternity's
Crimson
Boat!!

(where
each Soul
wanders
Their Own
Dream.)
+

I
Smile
while Knowing
My
Heart
will
Break;

(from
Keeping
Truer
Faces
Behind
A Trembling
Veil.)

and
seldom have
I
Been
Awake!!!

(to
anything
but
Hell.)
+

yet
Perhaps some
day
(from God's Machine)

I'll
tear the grim clock
from
My Throat?

and
Learn to Dream
some
Better Dreams
upon
This Crimson
Boat!
+

regardless (Time)
you
shall not Have me;

(nor
will I ever
cease
to Grin.)

For
LOVE
is how
we
conquer
Tragedy!

(to
ensure
Hell
Never Wins.)

j.stephen.h.

on universal dissociation

brief ranting on universal dissociation.

++++++++++++++

Are we a fabrication of gods imagination?
that is a question i often ask myself/ourself
with no resolution. 

And If we are products of Universal Dissociation,
(my own term for the idea that God is a
Universal Conscience Objectively Dreaming Multiple
Identities, with each of Us being a Part of
that series Dream-States ) can there be Meaning to Life?
Or would Meaning be forfeit due to the Illusory
Nature of our Primary Mode of Existence?

+

An Argument Against The Idea (for the sake of
fairness) consists in the seeming fact/belief that each
of us is an Objective, Thinking-Thing-In-Self,
(to use a Kantian and  older philosophers term)
with a Unique Personality which is Separate from
Other Thinking Things-in-Selves External To Us.

(But really the idea of universal dissociation is
no less absurd than the idea that
"God" can simultaneously be in all places at once,
hear all thoughts and prayers, yet never bother
to personally vocally communicate with us; leaving
man subject to be tormented by his questioning of
His/It's Nature.)

+

Time in a Dissociative Construct.

++++++

In a Universally Dissociative Construct, Time
would be a static state of possibility(ies) rather
than anything resembling a linear continuum of
events. And each Dream-In-It-Self would be endowed
with it's own personal recollections, that make
the experience of time itself unique to that particular
Dreamstate.

a temporary rose

a temporary rose.
++++++++++++

i woke up with
the
stench of Yesterday
on

My Breath.

and
cold sweats...

(even
a
slight chill.)

wondering if Life
traded
Masks with Death.

(if so,
can either
be
Killed?)

+

Love was there.
with
Her Dead Pan
Face,

and
streams of Twilight
in
Her Hair.

lending me Her
Grace.

(yet ironically
furthering my
despair.)

perhaps it is
the
Nature of This
Place?!!

(The "Ever-Now
and
No-Where.")

+

maybe tonight
ill
sleep a bit better.

but,
who knows?

perhaps
ill
just be deader?

an
Eternal Thorn
Within
The Eye of
a
Temporary Rose!

that is similar
to
a wordless
letter,

which in spite
it's
absence Grows!!!

(eternally
together.)


j.stephen.h.


to be completed
or furthered in thought by
Tony Taylor.

(i hope)

from loves endless void

From Love's
Endless Void.
+++++++++++++

There are moments
when
The Dawn seems
Darkest;

(and
Love an Image
by
Night Destroyed.)

Days when Angelkin
seem
Heartless!

(times
I Scream from
some
Great Void.)

+

At such times
I
choose to see,

some
hidden meaning
still
Unclear;

though there's often
only
Destiny!

(whispering
chaos in my ear.)

+

Once
I
Looked up
At
The Sky,

and prayed to
A
Mystery Without
Names;

Hoping
for my soul
to
Die!

(or
be delivered
from
Her Flames.)

+

then there are
moments
when my heart
seems weakest.

(with
Love an image
by
Life Destroyed.)

but
still I keep that
Angel's
Secrets!

(and
Kiss Her From
Love's
Endless Void.)

J.Stephen.H.