when the bottom falls out

 This is what happens when
the
Bottom Falls out and the sky
pukes

Rotted Stars;

with

Nowhere to Turn In My Moment
of
Doubt.

Is there any Difference?

(Between Memories and 
Scars.)

The Favorite Punchline

I for one hate days like this.

Bored, and Lonely sitting by myself lost in My Head wondering if Life will always be "This Way."

And every great and small thing (whether good, bad, or relatively indifferent) seems to break my Heart in nearly irreparable ways.

As I wonder to myself if perhaps Life is just a Sad Fuckin Joke that I can't bring myself to weep or laugh at any longer? (because I've always been it's Favorite Punchline.)

 Oh love.

There are times 

I 

wish 

I'd 

Never Loved.

When Uncertain Nights 

Look

Upon Me With 

Their 

Faceless Terrors,

till

It seems that 

Nothing

Smiles Above !

(and

The Heart 

is

filled

with

Errors.)

+ 

And 

How small 

I 

am 

Upon 

These Hours; 

(Truly little 

more 

Than 

Worm.)

When Memories

Seem 

Like Poisoned 

Flowers. 🌹

(and Hell's Serpents 

In 

Me Squirm.)

+

Dreaming Gods Pretending

 Dreaming 

Gods

Pretending.

++++++++

The Mirrors Breed 

Replicas 

Of Themselves 

and 

Eat Frail Clocks 

Like 

Bad Men Eat 

Hearts 

until 

There's Nothing 

Left

But 

Broken Dreams 

to 

Stuff 

Our 

Weary 

Heads 

With.

(This is why most 

Minds

are 

Anorexic.)

+

It's also why 

I 

Think The God-Mind 

Is

Bulimic;

(and we are 

it's 

Head-Puke)

For..

What else would 

explain 

The Endless 

Nights 

and 

Broken Record 

Days 

which 

Play, and play, and

FUCKING 

PLAY

Without 

A

Seeming

Ending?!!

Or 

Perhaps We 

Are 

It and 

It 

Is "We"?

(thus Dreaming

Gods 

Pretending.)

J.Stephen.H

(Author's Note: this is a perspective piece that I composed for A New Friend, who

Inspired it with a Conversation. 

Often I am asked what I Believe. And my answer?

I believe that: Having Firm Beliefs Enslaves Minds that could be Better Liberated by continuously Evolving beyond the Necessity of Any Firm Belief.

Shorter answer?: I believe that Man Is The Author of His Own Mythic Narrative, and that Few (if any) can ever Live up To the Myth of "Self." (which is an ever-dying Phoenix, Reborn from The Ashes of Its Past with Every New Thought/Experience.)

On Leaving Home.

 The odd thing about "home" (Even if it's only a Hell you call home, because it's the only thing you've ever rightly known.) is that

No matter how far you go, ..it never really Leaves YOU .

(But sometimes the Most Fortunate of Souls make Peace with this reality somehow.)

The lucky ones find the inner reserves to turn their Inner Hell into a Personal Heaven which follows them Anywhere they may  go.

Quotes from a disenfranchised therapist

 

Monday, August 30, 2021

a few quotes from a disenfranchised therapist

Quotes from a

Disenfranchised Therapist.
+++++++++++++

If The Meaning of LIfe

is to seek what makes

you happy,

 is the one

who still finds a reason 

to smile with a gun in their 

mouth a winner or a loser?

(I love a good paradox.)

++

I don't buy into any of those
guru fucks out there who act
as if you can just magically
THINK better shit into being.
Life doesn't work that way.

Life is a terrible ocean where
You swim with sharks, and either
get really good at coexisting with
them, become one, drown. (Or get fucking eaten.)

+

Be assured that any bullshit one

of those quick-fix spin- doctors try
selling you is just that.

Bullshit that only benefits them,
and perhaps those with an inherent
talent for self-delusion.

++

There is no meaning to life
other than shit we make up
as we go along. 

Sometimes it is enough to
keep from whacking yourself.

Other times ones personal life
is just too shitty, and their
circumstances too severe to 
see any reason to keep wading
through the Shit-Fest/

++

Crazy? 

EVERYONE I've ever met
is
mentally ill in some way.

There is really only greater
and
lesser degrees of mentally
fucked.

and some fuckers
NEED The Voices.

(to keep them sane.)

+++

Therapy isn't about curing
mental illness. Because there
IS NO CURE for the Virus
of Human Consciousness .

Its about helping others learn
to tolerate or (at rare best) 
genuinely ENJOY the shit life
they're're chaotically
thrown into, while co-existing
relatively peacefully
with their fellow asylum members.

++

And yes. Sometimes you
have to lie your ass off to others
to keep em from going off the rails.

There's no other way. They're too
weak to handle things at face value,
and the truth would make the fuckers
more depressed.

+

Few people are
genuinely
honest. 

If they are they
quickly become
outcasts with little
to no social life;

Because as a general
rule, most don't want
to be told the truth, or 
know
what you REALLY
think
about things.

They want their
precious
little egos
stroked,
or delusions
pacified.

+

The difference between
a
Cynic and a Realist?

(A Realist is a Work
in Progress who has
yet to accept The Cynical
Truth.)

j.s.h

Cthulhu never cracks a smile

Wednesday, November 10, 2021

Cthulhu never cracks a smile

Cthulhu never

cracks a smile.

+++++++++++++

 This is the 

part

where My

Words 

Murder Stars..

and 

Spit Infinities 

into

Verse..

inspired by cosmic 

scars.

(but

NEVER 

ask 

Cthulhu

why it

Hurts.)

+

I interrupted The 

Fools 

as 

they sat merrily round 

to 

Pray; 

(many seemed 

disgusted.) 

My Sin?!!!

I 

Wore 

Father's 

Face 

To 

School 

Yesterday.

(ironically 

it's 

a Face 

I've

never trusted.) 

+ 

Now..

These

soft, soft walls 

talk 

Shit  

To me 

often..

and  

they

(literally)

grow on 

you 

after a while.

As 

I 

Bury  

meaning 

In It's 

Coffin!

(but

Cthulhu 

never 

cracks 

A Smile.)

J.s.h

Whiskey River

 

Tuesday, December 21, 2021

Dialogue/whiskey river

 Agreed. 

That's why I think Im almost done buddy. (Not to seem morbid again.)

Its not really a matter of cowardice on my part. 

Hell I'd fight anyone toe to toe , and if I got my ass beat take it like a champ and try harder next time or offer a hand shake you know.

But..what do you do when The Enemy is YOU?

Or worse..The Ghost of The Man You Used to Be? That thing you try to get back but feel slipping through your finger like the fading sands of TIME?

++++

I try to make my madness into a joke;..sometimes I laugh like hell, and the voices Laugh with me.

But..everyone cries ALONE. (Without even VOICES to comfort them.)

I know. I'm definitely in that mood. But I'll knock it and GROW. 

And so will YOU sis.

.might not seem like it in the dark moment.

But types like us? We have to be our OWN lights...seems like.

Not to kill the truth-vibe with excessive metaphors

And Life?(a heartless Clown)

 And Life?

(A 

Heartless Clown.)

+++++++++++++

Bed 

at 

ten. 

Up by

one.

(Can't 

Wind down.)

Deaths 

Shadow Friend

Has

Become 

My 

Sun!

And 

Life??

(A

Heartless

Clown. )

+

The Coffee tastes

Like

Burnt Dreams 

left 

On

The Fires of 

A 

Heart

Too long.

(I 

drink 

it 

anyway.)

As

I 

hum the words 

to

Ancient

Songs.

(Old Heathens 

used

To Pray.)

+

Work by 8...

(Home 

whenever.)

Mediocrity.

You must be 

My 

Fate!

But  

Death!?? ☠️ 

(We've Always

Been 

Together.)